promise to be you with till the end

2009-12-11T12:13:00.000-08:00

why? why those guys tat play(shirt/baju), alwaes tink bout themselves n their peeps first?
they cn ignore or put aside their girl so easily..they fight for revenge and their rights but they cnt fight for their girl..i just hate their mindset..

we as girls, if we love love them, we cn sacrifice anitin or even die for them..!
why cnt they do the same ting?!! i wana know whether they realise this or not, if they have ani problems, who are alwaes ready to help, who wil b by their side al de tyme?!!

WE BITCHES!!

wen they nid sum1 to give them love wen nobody cares about them, who are willin to give them?? wen they nid pleasure and warmth, who please them with it??

WE BITCHES!!

Can they get al this from their braders or gang peeps?!!! ~~NOOOOO!!~~

so all u gangsters out dere, plz tink bout it..plz appreciate the girl tat loves u with al her hart n soul..if not, at least let her understand tat u dun nid her animore n return her love tat she gave u niceli..shes alrd badli hurt so dun crush her animore..i know how it feels becoz i've been thru tons of u guys alrd..n dun regret if shes gone, becoz shes nv gona TURN BACK TO YOU ANYMORE

the pain is worse than anitin wen ure dump by their ego,loyalty n dignity for their gang!
im sufferin it!! urgh!!

MyHotComments

2009-12-09T06:43:00.000-08:00

todae im postin about a joke or mayb a lame joke
i went to sch to do my last CA test paper for diz bloody year
n gues wad??.. i didnt even touch my book to revise or look at it at all!
LOL..thenn wen im in de exam room, i felt diz way:

1- heart beatin fast
2- terrified
3- cant leave de room until 30mins is over
4- stil try becoz i know i haf to pass
5- aft 30mins over, i cnt take it..im lyke a dead bitch..

u sort of know i felt ryte?.. u guess confirm eva felt diz wae b4 ryte?..
now i tel u how i calm myself down..
u know the Russian Roulette by Rihanna ? rmb de chorus:

And you can see my heart beating
You can see it through my chest
Said Im terrified, but Im not leaving
I know that I must pass this test
So just pull the trigger

WAKAKAKAKA dis chorus reali explain how the fuck i was feelin!! LOLLL
heres de music video for u to njoy

NEXT about two guys..IKHMAL AND SHAH MOTOR
Ikhmal is my long lost "fren" (knalan)..i know hym wen i was in sec 4
Den we didnt kip in touch much and den lost cntct..
we did exchange pics but we didnt mit..so we forget it and move on..
Then he text mie ytd n we share bout our lyfe aft we lost cntct..
The best part is, he stil kept my pic tat i exchnge wif hym a few yrs bck..
He rmb every single detail bout mie!! lyke wth! dis guy reali strike mie..
its swit of hym..hahaha..but we're juz frens..i dun reali tink i gona b close to hym or sumtin..
coz Kyo n Shah is givin mie enough headache n hartache alrd! fuhh!

RiKa Returns

2009-12-07T13:39:00.000-08:00

wellx3...finalli i miss blogging..
heheehee..i know y'all al might b mad at mie for nt updatin..
haix..i tout i could avoid bloggin becoz i wil get reali emo..
but i realised, bloggin did help mie release some pain..
i know no 1 might rmb my blog, but stil i wil share wadeva i haf..

hmm..wher shld i begin..hmm how bout sch 1st..
lyfe in simei sux lyke fcukin hell..but my clsmates r gr8..
i seldom go sch..i onli go sch wen my bitch CA warn mie or wen i misses my frenz..
did badly for all tests..was debarred but i appealled..exams dead..
i duno wads wrg wif mie or anitin else tat alwaes stoppin mie to focus on sch..
i did bloody well durin my Nitec but now hgher nitec, i juz didnt put ani damn effort..

about LOVE..
urgh..juz dun wana tok bout it uhh..*take a deep breath*..ok lets start..
i broke off wif shah motor about 1mth ago..and he still..yarh..chase aft mie for patch up..u know hym..haix..annoyin..im sgl now but i fil lyke its worse than bein att!
well deres sum1 in mind now..kyo..i tink he prefer to b called by tat name..
we know each other for yrs becoz hes my bestie x..but we didnt kip in touch..
we usuali msg and ask bout each other n den fullstop..
but a few daes b4 my bdae, we kept in touch..
and u know..go dating and etc.
we felt de connection, de feelings wen ure gona fall for sum1..heeehhee..
he did propose but i wasnt prepared..i wan to b stable and sure about everyting den i wil tink bout bein tied with hym..

so its lyke im caught in dis stupidddd idiot love triangle..
shah motor+ME+kyo..history+ME+present..u know wad i mean ryte??..haixx..
sumtimes i do tink im juz a bitch tat cnt b attached, engaged, married or even haf kids..becoz all juz sinks down man..
so my ladies..1 advice..if u wana b a bitch, tink carefulli..becoz its damn fckin hard for u to chnge or achieve anitin frm love..
juz b a typical girl is alrd cool ok?..

todae..kyo n mie had sum misunderstandin..i did tel hym i wan us to b over..
i duno wad makes mie says tat..but COME ON..im havin fever n im totali weak..becoz i hardli get sick, so wen it hpns, im damn weak..but rmb dis dear, u know wen i sae its over, it doesnt mean i wana trash u awae..it means i cnt take it, n i nid a timebreak..stil im not over u ok..

2009-07-28T18:35:00.000-07:00

hey ppl !!
so sowie didnt update for a long long tyme..
i mish my blog tats y im back..
haha..
well im sowie i dun haf new pics to show off..
hehe..
didnt take new pics for a long tyme too..
been down bout life..
didnt noe whether i wana go on wif sch or nt..
did try to quit but section head of business disapproved..
she stil wan mie to try to go on until sept exams..
if i do badly den i can reconsider quittin..
well..now im back on my feet..
i focus in sch n catch up wif al i missed..

bout rlationship..
well as u ppl know im stil wif shah..
we on n off at times..
he nids to b more responsible and hardworkin..
sumtimes i wan to chase hym awae becoz hes nt seriuz wif his life..such as career..
how cn he take care of mie if he cant even take care of himself..
so im juz watchin hym to improve..wif nth chnge, i wil make it final between us..
he is very gud to mie..alwaes dere went i nid sum1..cherish mie wif his love n loyalty..
but he juz lack of that sumthin..COOLNESS and RESPONSIBLE..
i dun pick guys becoz of their looks, their confidence n coolness attracts mie..
hehe..

2009-05-30T05:10:00.000-07:00

hey hey..
how u guys spend ur fri n wkend??
wel mie went out wif two of ma frenz, marwan n huz ytd..
wel actuali itz a date..
mie n marwan went to eat dinner..his treat!
den ard 10pm i met huz wif his amazin super 4 bike..
hahaha..
both of us haf no idea wher to go..
so in the end, he sae he wil brin mie go ridin..
haha rempit beb!!
i lyke but sumtimes itz terrifyin for mie..
haha..
den we had supper 2gether..

both of dem confess to mie tat dey lyke n love mie..
but dey dun rush mie becoz dey noe bout Shah..
itz complicated but stil dey understand
dey know mie for a yr or two alr..
bluek!

wel u might tink y im datin guys ryte?
wel i juz wana looked ard..shah n mie r takin a tyme off..
he nids to noe wad hes doin..i wan hym to pay attention to hymself for nw..
he knows im datin guys..hes hurt but stil he acpt it..
wel baby, dun fil hurt..juz rmb i stil love u, juz tat we r nt 2gether 4 nw..

2009-05-11T22:12:00.000-07:00

hie all..:'(
im cryin softli..
my loveli black cat is feeling veri sick..
hes nw half paralyzed..
god plz help hym survive..
todae evenin im bringin hym to c de doc..

todae suppose to b a gud dae for mie n shah
shah ORD 2dae..pink IC ehk..hehe
congrats dear..finally ure done wif it..
im proud of u..
muwahz!..

lastly, do pray for ma cat k..thkz

2009-05-08T06:02:00.000-07:00

hmm feelin lost..
ytd wen i was crossin de road with shah..
we were quarellin bout x men wolverine movie we juz watched..
he juz dun wana lose, den he push ma face..abit lyke slap larh
i was shocked den i juz cross de road without hym..
i was honked by a car drivin 2wards mie..
dun weri..im safe by a few secs frm de car..
shah was so panicked coz he nearli lose mie at de road..

den i juz walked awae frm hym..
he chase mie but i dun care..
he apologise,he sae he didnt mean it n all..
i fuckin dun gif a shit bout wad he sae..
wad matters HE SLAP MIE..

now he seems lyke he cnt cntrl his anger much nw..
he alwaes wana win mie..but i stil win..becoz i gif facts..
if he listen to mie b4 he opens his bloody mouth,
he dun haf to argue!!..no matter wad i stil 4gif n 4get,
wich i dun usually do..
dun make mie burst..hmm

tats all..cnt type alreadi..so else i wil get emo

2009-05-05T08:16:00.000-07:00

1st May labour day
hey celebrated 1 yr anni wif shah..
khai n nadia went along..
hehe full of fun n laughter..
went suntec,esp den bugis..
hehe..heres de pics

den 2nd may..
ma loveli bro 12th bdae..
celebrated at east coast..
his fav place..
hehe hes gettin older fast larh..

lastly..i juz got feedback frm ma clzmates tat my Class advisor said ma attendance was bad..WTF..i juz absent for 2 daes al diz while..CB uh!..i hate diz sch!!
big fuck!!..
im nt sure whether i cn go on studyin..i dun belong, no interest wif de sch n teachers n hate de environment n DM..!!!!
if i quit, ma love ones wil b upset..
hmm wad to do..

hey y'all!! im back!

2009-04-30T05:11:00.000-07:00

heyheyhey!
i noe u guys r deeply mad wif mie coz i dun update ma blog for so long!!
coz ma com gone now i haf a new lappy
so u guys wil hear aload bout mie frm nw..haha
well bout sch..i finished my Ntec in ite bshan alr
now im in simei doin my Hgher Ntec
simei is a fuckin idiot sch!!! juz hate it so much
everitin single ting bout de sch sux!!!

now bout relationship..
mie n shah 2dae suppose to b our 1 yr anniversary..
but we decide to b frenz den lovers..
stil we love each other n celebrate everi anniversary
we avoid bein lovers becoz we wil argue aload
b frenz n love each other is beta..hehe

but nw im havin a prob..
ma x Nikki..juz came out frm prison..
he cntct mie back..haix
even i move on, stil i nv forget hym..
is diz love?
den wad about shah?
i felt lyke inside my heart is shah
but Nikki poke a hole
n now shah's lyke slippin out of ma heart..
i reali dun understand maself..

Nikki is my dream guy tat i want
but hes a big motherfuckin gangsta..
if i choose hym, i have to suffer livin "underground"
if i choose shah, aload of improvement to b made before we cn settledown
haix..if i dun choose both, i duno larh..cn i do it?..
i met Nikki laz 2 daes..it was great seein hym agen..he shows he love mie
but ytd n 2dae, he sms a bit n weneva i called hym,he sae hes bz wif diz n tat
i onli felt love wen mie n hym mit..wen we r apart, he juz care bout his underground..
but shah cares bout mie de whole tyme..juz he might nt b gentle n hes stingy..

im sowie shah..i reali duno y im lyke diz since Nikki's back..stil i love u..

heres ma pic wif ma simei frenz..

heres Nikki pics

2008-09-24T08:45:00.000-07:00

on sat went to had dinner, chill n play pool at town
wif ma godbro, shasha, seri n hubbie..
had fun man..
sum of ma admirers were at town too..
shocked to c dem dere.. hahaha

den on sun went out wif hubbie..
ate at tekka mall den we haf no idea to go aniwher..
while ridin, we argue bout sumthin.. n i duno wat comes to his mind tat make hym ride to causewae.. he told mie he wana chill dere.. i was nt in de mood so i juz walk awae.. n he couldnt find mie.. haha hide n seek uh..
aft we settle down, he drove me to our fav place..
hehe wich cheer mie up..

exactly 12hours more to ma 1st dae for F1..
11am to 9pm.. ish!.. gona b tiring.. but stil gona b fun..
hehe..i gona b bz n haf not much tyme for hubbie.. we gona mish each other..
haha..nvm F1 is frm 25th to 28th onlie..
lata 29th gona buy baju raye.. nt much tyme to prepare alr..
due to money matters.. hehe ILY hubbie..
ok larh.. i'll b back updatin bout F1 orite..
signing out

2008-09-16T02:03:00.000-07:00

WWEEEEEE!!

i got to work at GV Tampines for ma attachment!!
yeshaaa!!!
i was hopin for tamp bcoz ma hubbie lives in tamp..
n ma wish came true..wuhuuu!!!
hubbie was so hapy too..
wheneva i work til late morning, he cn send mie home..
haha pakai transport jek.. no la.. i love ma hubbie ok..
hehe but itz far frm bshan..
nvm larh.. sure cn cope nye..

ok for raye diz yr..
hubbie n i planned wana get a hindustan couple set..
hubbie wears punjabi while i wear hindu style..
we search at geylang..but mostly is punjabi for guys..
so our next stop is tekka..hehe..

=D

2008-09-13T04:39:00.000-07:00

hey itz b a veri fuckin long tyme since i update!
n i noe ma viewers r mad bout diz.. sowie guys.. im reali bz copin wif ma life..
ma life now onli concerns ma family, rlationship n sch..
i dun care bout nth else..i wana settle wads impt 1st den njoy maself..
even hari raya comin, stil im bz.. im startin ma ATTACHMENT on 6 oct..
at golden village.. nt sure wich outlet yet..
but for diz mth, im involved in de FORMULA 1 Race..wadduhh!
busywoman rite??..hehe

bout ma family, dey r gud.. dey haf no objections bout ma guy.. dey r happy wif ma studies.. even now ma bro understands tat his sis is a smoker..haha..

ma rlationship is gud..4mths wif hym alr.. ma parents planning to get us engaged by de end of nxt yr aft ma guy finished his ns n get a proper job..

ma studies r doin well.. i might juz proceed to higher nitec n get a permanent job.. i dun haf de strength to go poly for 3 yrs.. too long uh..

tats all for nw.. take care all

2008-07-04T09:04:00.000-07:00

heyhey !! diz weekend gona b a rocky fun one !!
weee!!
tml is ma NDP NE SHOW 1 !!
gona b excitin.. cnt wait to perform !
hubbie wil b at marina bay too !!
but he cnt c ma performance coz his duty is near VIP seats..
aww.. but nvm.. at least hubbie is sumwher near mie..
huhu !! mish hym..! we broke our record !! 10daes nv mit each other !!
haha !! i wana make hym mish mie to de max.. n he did !
hehe but sun we gona celebrate our belated 2mth anniversary !!
weeeee!!!
goin to jurong point n get ma new Kappa shoes!
den goin to the cathay n buy the couple tees n watch Hancock !!
ma swithart will smith is de main actor..!!
damn hel i mish negros haha !!
den we goin cicikuangkuang !!
our fav ting to do larh !! haha
aft tat goin sumwher to chill out b4 headin home !!..
not takin bike diz tyme.. we wana try takin public transport agen !!
but i mish ma dardarlink [a nickname for ma hubbie's bike]
haha nvm soon i gona ride on ma dardarlink agen!!!

2008-07-01T06:43:00.000-07:00

MyHotComments

2008-06-27T12:37:00.000-07:00

yea shasakaiish is sum1 special to mie!
hu out dere disagree, tu kau peh suardlm !!
haha gona mit ya tml..
weee !! happy uh !
mushy2!!
hehe

2008-06-09T01:43:00.000-07:00

hubbie wif ma bestie Kid bag..! so cute !!

ouh ouh wat a tirin weekend..
fri ma bestie Kid torn ma house..
slpt at 6..woke up on sat at 12..
get ready for Kid fren's pit..
hubbie, sha2 n Wan went along too..
pit start aft 6.. so we went to walked ard in town..
den headed to east coast..de pit was quite borin..
so hubbie n i want to sit on de sand..
quite far awae frm dem..
den we talked..kiss..lick..hahah
i said to hym ~ i promiz upon de sky, de sea n de land tat i wil alwaes love n care for u..
he kissed mie n said ~ im scared if i were to lose u..
hmm had tat swit chat n romance b4 headed back home..

ytd.. was de ferst trainin at marina platform.. so fun.. time flies so fast dere..haha.. food provided was yummy too.. chicken chop larh!..haha
but aft al tat fun, sumtime unpleasant happen..
hubbie promised to pick mie up .. aft ma trainin, i called hym n ask wher is he..
he said at home.. i was like wth.. n de wae he tok to mie was lyke its nt wrg to b late..damn..so i told hym no nid to mit mie n hang up..da start nk paitao aku la nie..
den i join ma frenz to esp eventhough i was nt in de mood n tears gona fall anitime..
wen i reach esp, i juz secretli cry.. 15mins he msg mie he alr reached esp n asked mie wher am i.. i juz reply tat i dun wana c his face.. he called i rejected..den he called sha2, sha2 told hym wher were we..he came n apologise.. i asked hym back y u wana apologise.. wat hav u done.. he replied he was late.. i sae not onli tat.. if u reali wana c mie, u shld b on tyme.. he replied he was packin his stuffs for camp..den i replied u cn get tat done siang2 rite..but u were playin game..if u reali eager to mit mie, u dun nid mie to remind u what tyme u shld leave ur house so u wont b late n etc.. discipline urself plz.. dun let diz happen agen.. diz is not de 1st tyme u r late.. been a mth n u alwaes make small mistakes.. i tolerate it n settled it within a dae so we wont drag it.. so plz change.. ma hands r stil 'clean' since we're 2gether.. i haven done ani mistakes to u.. so appreciate me alrite boy..
wat if im like a boy.. watch diz vid..
Ciara-Like A Boy - Ciara

2008-06-06T03:11:00.000-07:00

do u guys n gerls dedicate a song to ur friends, ex or lover? well i do..
last i dedicate a song to was khai.. baby love by nicole .. well now its ma hubbie SHAH turn.. im gona dedicate thers nothing by sean kingston for you baby.. hope u like it.. weee...!

Theres Nothing - Sean Kingston ft. Paula Deanda

Sean Kingston, JR, Paula
Hey, hey, haha
Sean Kingston, Paula Deanada

(Chorus)
There's nothing in this world
There's not another girl that could satisfy my needs
There's nothing in this world
There's not another boy that could make me feel so sweet
Coz me love life's so right
When she hold me so tight, how she kiss me goodnight (night)
Coz he fills up my life
Like the sun, he shines bright
Boy, come with me now

The first night me meet her
Yes me senorita me never want to leave her no
Because the gal look sweet and took her a treat
And me really want to take her home
Coz she look nice and she's a one of a kind
When me look up in her eyes then she got me mesmerised
Picture perfect like a Kodak moment
When she kiss me goodnight and she feelin' up on me
We been there from the jump, never front, never stunt
Never done what a average girl done
And I can tell by her body language
She feels my emotions
And got me anxious
So that's me type
Me and me angel
And me really have to let her know
She's the woman of my life
Oh yes she so right
So please let the chorus go (oh yeah)

(Chorus)
There's nothing in this world
There's not another girl that could satisfy my needs
There's nothing in this world
There's not another boy that could make me feel so sweet

Coz me love life's so right
When she hold me so tight, how she kiss me goodnight
Coz he fills up my life
Like the sun, he shines bright
Boy, come with me now

I Saw you from across the room
Looking so fly I gotta talk to you, yeah
It didn't take a sec to see
That you're the only one who wanna rescue me (ay)
I can't lie, boy you're my type of guy
And there's nothing in this world that can stop me from lovin' you (stop, stop me from lovin' you)

Girl you put me in a good mood (mood)
And me love the way you flex too (too)
We could chill girl, after school (school)
Coz I ain't trippin girl it's up to you
And since then we've been inseperable
Coz I did everything to get next to you
Since day one you know I stay true
So ever since then it's been me and my boo

(Chorus)
There's nothing in this world
There's not another girl that could satisfy my needs
There's nothing in this world
There's not another boy that could make me feel so sweet
Coz me love life's so right
When she hold me so tight, how she kiss me goodnight
Coz he fills up my life
Like the sun, he shines bright
Boy, come with me now

(Sean Kingston)
There's nothing in this world, There's nothing in this world
There's nothing, there's nothing

(Paula Deanda)
There's nothing in this world, There's nothing in this world
There's nothing, there's nothing
...................................................................................

ytd went for Wing Tai interview for attachment job..
on de wae dere, a negro wrote his num n name in a piece of paper and gave it to mie..
hehe cute la sey.. he reali eager to noe mie but too bad im att swit baby..
diz is ma 2nd negro alr.. de ferst negro Derrick was heartbroken by mie becoz i chose to b wif Shah and now de 2nd one Ray.. y negros love to chase aft mie?.. ma frenz sae im negro's cup of tea.. haha no comments.. i told hubbie bout diz and he juz smiled .. he knows deres a bunch of guys tryin to win over ma hart n steal mie frm hym.. but he stil truz tat i wil stick wif hym no matter wat.. thats right hubbie!!

2008-06-02T03:52:00.000-07:00

hey im back agen.. sowie for nt updatin for mani daes.. was bz wif sch n ndp trainings.. while hubbie was bz wif his SAF parade rehearsal.. hmm currentli im havin ma examz.. juz had ma REO paper, was nt easy like i tout.. might get juz a B..

sun nite was ma ferst mth anniversary ! hubbie fetch mie frm ma ndp trainin at PA den headed to ECP.. bought thirty three and amsterdam.. find a spot at water breakers.. i drank 33 and hubbie drank amsterdam.. about 11pm headed home.. nearli had an accident.. luckili i was alert n quick to get off de bike.. thk god nth happen to both of us.. hubbie juz lose cntrl of his bike..

reached n was so tired n quite drunk.. so cnt revise for ma paper on mon.. so i slept n woke up earli to revise.. was not prepared enuf for ma examz sey.. hmmm.. sumtimes relationship cn affect ma studies.. but i dun blame hym of coz..

laz nite.. hubbie tel mie his prob.. he had to pay $200 debt wif his mom, renew his license, pay his installment n his insurance.. gosh ! so much..! wif his NS salary of coz dere wil b shortage.. but i wil help hym.. aft ma examz diz thurs, i gona find a job.. mayb as a operator for pizzahut n kfc.. or a sales assistant.. hmm..

he might nt b able to mit mie for sumtime becoz he wana save money.. so he decided to stae in camp.. aww... here goes agen.. sacrifices.. ma rlationships alwaes haf sacrifices for mie ferst dan ma bf.. unfair.. hehe.. well deres another obstacle im facin..

diz guy fall for mie.. den tryin his best to win mie over ma guy.. he asked mi out.. but wat i do is juz reject.. n i tel hubbie about diz.. hubbie understand n proud tat im loyal n honest to hym.. so he dun weri much becoz he noes i cn handle diz matter...awww.. hehe..

2008-05-22T07:08:00.000-07:00

hey sowie didnt update for a wk.. was bz larh.. hehe
i wil tel u briefli wat happenned alrite..
ferst, i received ma summon letter.. was summonned for $30..
i tout $230 but luckili itz not.. phew!!..
2nd, ma end module exams starts on 2nd june til 5th june..
so scared sia.. hope i cn get at least a B for ma weak module..
de rest i wil try ma best to achieve de standards A's..
yea jiayoo..
6th june start holidae.. gona werk3! hahaha..

time for de hubbie n wifey tale.. haha
he bought a pair couple rings for cineleisure for mie..
basically we went out to chill or juz for a ride..
we clicked so well wif each other..
i cnt believe deres a guy hu cn understand ma needs easili..
hehe wen we're on de road, we fool ard.. he likes to speed up
juz to tease n scare mie.. haha.. so far no accidents larh..
dun werrie.. haha..

his weak points are..
hes quite kedekot..he wil save his money to de fullest..
haha.. cmon larh.. he haf to save money for our weddin..
BLUEK..! haha..
n 1 more.. he prefer mie to look more decent and slim..
he would prefer if i dye ma hair back to black..
but i like ma hair colour.. some sort like highlight although i didnt highlight..
de colours mixed n fade..haha..
he told mie to promised hym to slim down by oct..
gosh ! now is alr may n i onli lost 6 kg.. due to werk..
i try ma best k hubbie...

now as usual.. he wil b goin for deploymnt frm fri til mon noon..so diz sun he wil nt get to fetch mie aft ma NDP trainin sey.. sad.. =(.. he wil alwaes fetch mie aft ma trainin but de stupid deploymnt cause our date.. argh !.. haiz nvm.. i cn wait til mon or tues for hym.. he wil fetch mie frm sch..
de 1st tyme he fetch mie frm sch was laz tues.. de ppl nearby de sch gate kept lookin at us.. haha of coz dey wil look at hawtstuffs lyke us ey.. haha.. action uh mie.. haha dun mind ma dumbness..
okae ppl wish mie gud luck for ma exams yea.. tenkiue !!!

2008-05-15T06:06:00.000-07:00

hey ! been 4 daes didnt mit my hubbie becoz of his deploymnt..
n todae is our 2wks anniversary n his laz dae for deploymnt for diz wk.. wuhuuuu!!
gona mit hym tml ! i gona b melted by hym agen ! yea ! i cnt wait to c u hubbie!!
i mish ya so much !! if i could kill mas selamat , i wil sia ! so my hubbie wil not suffer ani bloody deploymnt animore.. !

todae i receive a letter frm de police.. informin tat ma x confrm sentenced 4 8mths..
gud luck in dere orite bastard !.. i oso receive de 1st letter frm HSA.. another letter wich is ma summon wil b sent soon.. haiz.. hate diz larh !
todae i did ma role play.. ma partner fifi cocked up abit but ma teacher says itz ok..

im havin cough now.. weneva ma hubbie is awae for deploymnt.. i wil get sick.. ma frenz notice it too.. ouh wat to do .. haiye.. nvm tml n sun meetin hym alr.. weee!!

2008-05-11T19:24:00.000-07:00

diz sat went out wif hubbie, sha n wan..
mit redhwan, jup, syawal, fifi and zalikha at vivo..
juz walk2 ard..den separated.. hubbie, mie, sha n wan went to bugis
while ma ite frenz went to clarke quay and zalikha went to commonwealth..
was a bored outin at vivo.. nth much sia..

while ridin to bugis.. our drivers.. which is hubbie and wan..
fool ard on the road.. while mie n sha was quite scared sia..
sha look so cute with de huge helmet n its funny watchin her strugglin on de bike..
hubbie and i spy and watch everi move Wan make with sha..
and guez wat.. Wan hold sha hand n hug her.. wth..
sha and Wan not even couple den Wan stil dare to touch her.. hmph..

went bugis to find affordable couple tshirts but cnt find ani.. hmph!
den went penin.. same thing.. cnt find ani too..
gave up searchin and went to town to lepak..
Wan send sha at town n went off to de airport to fetch his fren..
thus sha haf to take public transport home..
den hubbie send mie home..

sunday was the best !!! unforgetable!!
hubbie and i went sumwhere.. secret uh.. haha
had fun n loads of switness..
stick to each other lyke glue sia..
love his body smell..itz not body odour..
the way he moves his hand make mie melt
awwww!! k la let u guys wonder uh..
dun ask mie ques.. i wil not ans bout diz topic..
TOP SECRET UH!!

now de big sacrifice.. de big bad news
bie juz finish his deplymnt on fri and he haf 4 days off..
but his officer ask hym and another 2 campmates a favour..
one of diz three haf to do todae deployment til fri..
all were cocked up aft hearin tat.. no matter wad, 1 of dem haf to sacrifice..
bie wana sacrifice hymself.. at ferst i couldnt accpt tat.. i did cry a bit..
bie juz kept comfortin mie, kiss mie n wipe ma tears..
he wipe everi tears b4 dey touch ma cheeks..
he hate those tears.. so he kept convincin mie and lazly he ask wil i let hym go?..
i juz sae nod n sae i love you..
den he hug mie tightly and den he felt lyke cryin..
haha hubbie silly la.. wen i stop cryin, he start..
i told hym nt to cry.. i wil b strong to cope with it..
i cn wait.. eventhough missin hym is such a torture..
haiz.. eventhough he gona return on fri.. we wil onli mit agen on sun
aft ma NDP trainin at bedok camp.. hmm wait wait wait..

2008-05-07T06:57:00.001-07:00

kip lookin de tiny ring he gave laz fri..
itz so small tat it onli cn fit ma laz finger..
haiye.. but i stil wear it..

todae went to take ma salary..
den went to yck lpk wif ma frenz
aft tat went to bugis n eat..
on ma wae home, DERRICK mr negro, msg mie..
wana mit mie up..aft 1 mth didnt cntct mie..
he said hes bz wif work..
and wen i told hym i haf a new bf alr,
he juz wish mie al de bez..
haiz..hes juz too lil too late..
i used to adore hym but he left mie alone
and wen hes back, i lead a new chap alr..
im sowie..but i do mish you baby boo

about u khai.. ure juz ego.. VERI FUCKIN EGO
ma frenz cn c tat ure jelez most of de tyme wen al of us tok bout hubbie
i cn c tat ure jelez too
BUT cn u ans al de ques tat i alwaes wonder since we broke off???
al diz wonderin n curiousy make it harder for mie to stop tinkin bout u..
damn!! dun b a coward or ego larh plz..
ure making it worse !
i noe u hate mie for watsoeva reason but rmb, u were de 1 hu end us!
u were de 1 hu let mie go like im ur shit frm ur ass!!
u were de 1 hu kept quiet lyke nth happens!!
i dun love u animore but i juz wan ma ques in ma mind to b answered!!
BUT i noe u wil nv tel mie
SO i will nt care to bother bout ur reaction or wateva shit larh ehk!!
damn! y muz he b in de same clz as mie?!! diz make it worsen sia!!
argh !!

da la.. enough.. focus on hubbie onlie.. bie might haf guard duty on sat or sun.. ala.. i wan 2 spend both sat n sun wif hym.. haiz.. pray hard he doesnt haf to do guard duty.. but itz ok if he nids to do tat.. i undrstnd.. at least mit hym once durin de weekend pn ok.. lpzkn windu kt dier.. muwahhs!! mon mayb bie fetchin frm sch.. wuhhhuuuu!!! vrooommm!!! IMY!! ILY!!!

2008-05-06T10:11:00.000-07:00

wah 2dae so lazy..go sch late agen
no use sia ma house near ma sch.. stil late.. haha
heehee i mish hubbie so much todae
tat i kip hearin diz 1 song.. duka dlm rindu..
de whole dae sia i hear diz song.. den i tel hubbie tat lyke diz de whole dae.. i duno y.. mayb im too happy tat i haf hym in ma lyfe.. or im juz missin hym too much
and diz was wat he replied
"tangisan airmata mengalir
dari kelopak matamu
dipenuhi dengan kegembiraan,
kemesraan dan kasih sayang..
jgnla kamu menangis,
keran itu membuatku merasa
hampa melihatmu dlm
kesedihan"

hai..hes juz simply gentle n swit..

ouh yarh tml is ma role play.. i hope i cn do wel for it..wish mi luck you all

2008-05-05T06:47:00.000-07:00

1st may.. de beginning of my everitin..my love..
im now attached with SHAHLIHIN..
wana noe bout hym?..haha so read diz up k..
hes 21 yrs old..servin ns as military police..
haf a kawasaki KR bike..vrooom!!!

how did i end up wif hym uh??.. hmm ouh i was mingling wif 3 guys..
n i tel al three tat im minglin ard larh.. de 1st guy gave up..
den btwn de 3rd n shah..i chose shah becoz i do haf feelings for hym
wel de other 1 is juz a fren.. but pity de 3rd guy..

frm 30 apr wed til 4th may sun.. diz 5 daes.. i went out wif hym non stop
wuhhhuuu!.. haha but now sad sia.. he haf to do deploymnt frm 2dae til fri..total 5 daes oso.. haiye.. stupid mas selamat la.. menyusahkn org jek.. kimak..!

now i haf bad news..i was caught twice for smokin in a wk sia..
fuck ar!! hell shit!!
ferst was nearby sch wif ma member haiza..
2nd was in frnt of far east on last sat.. fine $230 uh.. for litterin n underage!!
now ma parents nid to noe bout it coz tml ma class advisor wil inform ma parents..
and ma hubbie wil pay half of de fines.. appreciate it hubbie!! but im sowie to trouble al of us ma loved ones.. i promise to b more carefull n alert..

gud news is i got two A's for ma two modules.. haha weee!! hubbie n ma parents happie for mie.. hehe..

diz wed is ma pay day n laz dae werkin at BATA .. ma salary wil b used to pay fines and i gona rebond on fri or sat.. go shoppin on sat or sun.. sun wil b goin on a triple couple outing.. ma step bro n gf, hubbie n mie and hubbie's fren n gf.. huhhuuu!! cnt wait larh sey..!! ma pics of hubbie n mie are posted in both of our frenster.. go n check it out.. dun 4get to gif comments alrite.. tenkiue larh sey!!

2008-04-17T22:22:00.000-07:00

hey IM BACKZ LARH..
now werkin at BATA part time
havin not a easy time actuali..
hmm but at least sumtin cheer mie up
wich is i got dee highst in clz for ma CRN exam..yea!

hmm comin 3mths sgl leh..haiyo..
miss de love n pain of relationship..
wen wil de dae of pure love come to mie?..
ouh dear..im love lost..dead!
orite tats all..usin lib com now
hahaha..

2008-04-02T04:26:00.000-07:00

hey been so bz sia..
volunteerin as dresser for the s'pore fashion festival..
fuhh! job is to dress up de model asap durin diff shows..
de male models r so hawt!! fuhh! rika melts everitime she sees dem..

well now is sch holidae!! 3wks larh sey!! jelez rite?..haha
hmm bout ma love life..nth to sae..hahaha..
ferst tyme uh..i haf nth to sae bout love..

BUT...!

i love nigros or dark tanned guys..
laz mth a nigro stop mie to get to noe mie..
he wana kip in touch n all..aww..
he brought mie to pub..nice guy actuali..

ma mom's bdae was ytd..haha april fool bdae mummy..i brought her tulips..her favourite..lazli sha's bdae comin..huhu!! gona get her a big huge present!
and treat her too mayb..

damn i juz hate it without internet!! i gona buy a wifi adaptor soon! but quite x sia $39!! haha but at least beta dan no internet at all!! tc cya!!

2008-03-09T18:07:00.001-07:00

hey back to post..as sum1 requested..=)
i'll start ma condition in ma study..
i haf 3 projects to do..
nxt 2 wks is ma ferst common test..
i juz passed ma telephone skill test a few daes ago..
soon i haf to start ma revision and ma NDP training
i joined interact club as cca n i went for de installation dae
but aft tat, no updates frm dem..
okae now bout ma bloody love lyfe

since de breakup wif khai..i had a hard tyme to cope wif sch..
imagine i haf to c hym everidae n pretend im feelin okae..
diz lead mie 2 start smokin..most of ma frenz dislyke bout diz..
coz i stop 4 5mths alr..n once i start, its lyke wasted rite..
but i nid it to cool maself down weneva i feel down..
but i promised i wil stop once i 4get khai
about de couple necklace..i bought it on 13th..n on tat dae itself, he broke wif mie..so on de 14th i gave hym as a valentine gift..
he was so touched n he realised tat i truli love hym n was seriuz wif our rlationshp..
n he felt bad tat he wasnt as serious..n he asked whether i could gif hym a 2nd chance
i sae y shld i gif u a 2nd chance wen u dare to let mie go..
diz means u dun appreciate n respect mie..
den he wan mie to wear de necklace..so i did..he wore it too
not long i went out wif Max..he chased mie since laz yr n finali he get to mit mie..
n wen khai found out bout it, hes not hapy..
den not long he asked a gerl's num..she's frm office clz..den i was nt hapy too..
aft diz, i didnt wear de necklace animore n he gave de other necklace back too
so itz the end for mie n khai..

on 1st march..ma x fadli cntct mie back..happy larh sey..went out wif hym n sum of ma frenz to town..ma frenz lyke hym n if i patch back wif hym, dey approved..haha
we mish each other so much sey..itz was march 2007 wen we're att..n we mit agen aft 1 yr..touchin rite..jodoh tk ke mane..haha
den he sent mie home..wich was de tyme we get to spent tyme 2gether..he did sae he tout of askin mie for patch but he dun wana rush..wich is rite..we shld go wif de flow..
congrats to hym to tat he haf been thru army for 1 yr alr..yea! go al de wae k

den on de 5th march..i get to cntct back wif ma another x Fido..diz x of mine was a guy i stead wen i was sec 3..haha wae b4 fadli..been 1 n a half yr since we cntct wif other..den i met hym de nxt dae..he asked mi for patch..i was so shocked larh..i admit i mish hym but how cn i start al over agen wif u rite now..we got lots of tings to catch up..ppl change rite n i dun wana repeat de same mistake of rushin to patch back..we broke up twice actuali..n i dun wan de 3rd time to happen..he juz refuse to understand..WTH! his attitude stil worst of de worst larh..nv change sia..so despro for wat..

now i quit smokin agen..been 1 wk since i touch a stick..now de top of ma list is fadli, 2nd max n 3rd fido..dilemma sia..haha..i wil onli choose de 1 tat nv stop fightin for mie n faithful..yea peace out!

2008-01-27T17:00:00.000-08:00

Diz wk was a disaster for ma clz, especialli ma clz advisor n ma grp of frenz.. Our 3 members were sent to de hospital continuously ..on mon, Connie was sent to NUH wen she was on her wae home at boon lay..arif, siti n sha were wif her til ard 7pluz wen I heard de news frm dem..I wana visit her but itz late alr so decided to visit her on tues aft sch wif de others..
On tues Connie was discharge so al of us went to her house at boon lay to visit her.. She stil looked weak but glad tat she fine..

On wed morning, Juffrie had an asthma attack n was sent to SGH.. Siti went along with him.. All of us were werried bout hym so we went to visit hym at SGH 2gether.. He was in de observation room when we arrived.. Onli 2 persons cn visit hym at a time.. Fifi n I let de rest visit hym ferst, n wen we went in, de rest went to eat.. Juffrie was pale but he was surprised tat fifi n I visit hym.. Because both of us r nt close to hym n he didn’t tink we wil come for a visit.. A while later, de nurse told us to bring hym to de medical social services.. So he sat on de wheelchair n I pushed hym to de medical social services centre. When we reached the centre, the counter called fifi to answer some questions while juffrie n I wait.. Juffrie thanked mie for coming n he reali appreciate it.. He tok to mie for awhile until the counter call juffrie.. Then he has to tok to 1 social worker while we wait outside de room.. While waitin for hym, de rest came back..
After al tat, he has to go back to de observation room agen n wait for de doc to allow him to b discharge.. He got 3 daes MC.. Get well soon n eat wel k..

On thurs morning, at de MRT, siti had a bad headache n stomach ache.. I gave her panadol n we al slowly walked her to sch.. Wen we reached clz, she kept goin in n out de toilet.. She vomited mani times n we decided to bring her to de sick bay.. Den we went to tel our clz advisor.. After awhile, she was under a bad condition tat we had to called de ambulance.. My clz advisor went to NUH with her.. Aft sch we went to visit her 2gether.. Wen we saw siti was looking beta, some of ma frenz had to settle their urgent matters.. So dey went off n onli arif n I stayed longer.. Juffrie heard de news so he made his wae to c siti.. Awhile later, he arrived n was happie to c siti was alright.. Aft siti received her medicine, she went home wif her parents while jufrrie, arif n I went to eat our dinner.. Ouh we tok a lot bout mani tings.. N den we went to took de mrt back home.. We continue chit chat til we overshot city hall.. Haha ouh yarh I saw ma sweetest cousin, Siti, wif her lovin bf.. Hehe.. Juffrie n I decided to rebone our hair 2gether aft chi new yr.. Haha for hym, its gona cost $80 while for mie, itz gona cost $90.. Haha

Lastly on fri, no one is sick.. Phew.. No more hospital visits.. Haha.. But sum1 in ma clz confess his feelings for mie.. Oh gosh.. Itz happenin so fast.. I was speechless sia.. I noe hes jealous wen I chit chat wif de other guys.. N wen I walked passed captain[u noe hu], he wil hugged mie as if im his gerl.. I asked hym y.. he sae he wan captain to noe tat im att.. I was shocked larh sak.. Haish.. Hes like controlling mie n kipin mie awae frm ma male frenz.. HELLO!! Im nt ur gf.. Im ur fren.. Even if u like mie, u haf no rite to cntrl mie.. Diz is nt de wae to show mie u reali like mie n diz wil nt make mie fall for u.. itz annoyin.. Gosh..

Ouh enuf of al tat.. Gud news is ma clz gona haf camp at changi campsite on 1st n 2nd feb.. wee! Cnt wait for tat sia.. Hehe ouh yarh nt to forget.. Junction 8 golden village haf job vacancy.. I asked mommy n mommy allowed!! Huhu!! I goin to ask for vacancy soon.. Wish mie luck..

2008

2008-01-20T20:37:00.000-08:00

itz been long since i update rite..hmm coz ma net got cut coz of sum bloody financial probs larh..so now i haf 2 bear usin sch com or go cyber cafe to use net for another mth before i get ma net back..beginnin of everi yr dere muz b financial issue sey..but nvm larh, im used to it..wanted to post frm ma ferst dae of sch til todae but it wil b damn long..so i wil juz tok bout how ma life is now since i went in ite BSHAN..IT WAS GREAT FUN uh!! ferst i thought i gona b loneli coz i went into diz sch by maself without ma besties animore.. but i was wrong because i make a big bunch of new frenz larh!! huhu!.. juz by not bein anti social n charac, u wil easili make new frenz n get along wif dem fast like wat i've done..haha..i used to b anti social wich is nt gud at al larh..hehe..now ma class haf 30+ ppl n most of dem r ma frenz alr..haha..for those hu r close to mie r SITI, SHASHA, FIFI, CONNIE, ROS, HERIENI, ARIF, NIZA, MELLISSA, ADILAH, HAIZA..BIG GRP ARH..but now niza, mellissa, adilah, haiza dun reali wana join along in our grp..mayb dey dun reali like to do tings in a grp like us..tk jiwe la katekn..but we stil walk 2 sch 2gether la..hmm..one shockin ting i haf to tel u is one of ma new frenz is ma x-boyfren's{firdaus a.k.a fido} ex gerlfie..haha easy to sae NIZA is fido's ex n fido is ma x..haha..understand?..hehe she told mie aft i broke wif fido, she stead wif hym..haha n i noe she dislike mie frm de wae she look at mie but we stil tok at times larh..

ouh yarh nt to forget, on de ferst wk of sch i tink, i went to yshun campus wif ma grp of frenz..n i saw opick haha i guez he didnt c mie larh..n otw back home, we took de mrt..sadly i haf to take mrt home alone coz im de onli 1 stayin in bshan..de rez r mostly stayin in jurong, cck n woodlands..n i saw ma x on de mrt..he was shocked wen he saw mie wearin ite uniform..haha n he asked bout ma sch n al larh..so i haf sum1 to walk mi home..hehe..he asked for ma hp num n kish mie gudbye..was surprised to get a kish frm hym..hes actuali 1 of ma x wen i was sec 1..haha..

im lovin wat im learnin now..wise to pick a course tat interest mie alot..i noe itz nt easy to proceed to higher nitec but i wil stil work hard for it..next mth on 1st n 2nd, gona haf camp at east coast..cnt wait sia!..haha...

hmmm..bout ma sgl life, im free to do wateva i wan..haha so y shld i haf a guy..but i do like diz senior tat instruct us durin our orientation.. haha juz find hym cute la n would lyke to b fren wif hym..nth more dan tat arh..
hmm bout hym, i mean "ritza", i stil cry weneva i tink of hym n c his pics..ma love for hym is so strong tat it hurts mie as much..itz been 2mths without sum1 so of coz i miss havin a guy..especialli wen al ur gerlfrenz r havin rlationships but i cntrl everi bit of lust..n wen i tink back de pain i gave to de sum of ma gud n faithful ex bfs, i feel regret til it kills mie inside..i hope im forgiven n forgotten by dem..ya itz too late to apologise but itz nv too late to realise n learn frm ur mistakes..b4 i slp, de pain "ritza" gave mie alwaes wil take ma breath awae..but sch joy replace it wif laughter n fun..haiz..tryin veri hard to let it go..n lateli i found out tat "ritza" juz found a new gerlfie..n damn hell tat gerl iz 1 of ma close frenster frenz..she noe i eva stead wif "ritza" n even wish us gud luck on our rlationship..n now aft i broke off wif hym, she stead wif hym..i noe itz nt wrg la if she wana stead wif "ritza", but i was juz fuckin shocked wen i saw her frenster..she took pic wif evansya[ritza's son]..fuck arh!!!..ritza eva promish mie tat he wana brin mie 2 mit his son n i waited for tat dae al de tyme wen we were stil att..but didnt get a chance to mit evansya at all..

if u were in ma shoes, how wil u feel?..u love hym fully but he hurt u totalli..den u decided to leave hym n move on so u wont b hurt agen but u juz cnt stop tinkin bout ur past wif hym..u started hatin hym wen u found out tat he tricked u al along n u kip focusin on ur frenz n sch..but suddenly 1 dae u found out he moved on wif ur fren...!!..
i kept cryin everi nite since i found out hes alr att..i wana drink, smoke or even fling wif guys so it could help mie calm down..but i tink thru n i realise i shldnt restart ma bad habits agen for a bastard lyke hym..so al i could do is continue cryin, throw ma fon against de wal becoz in ma fon deres msgs n pics of hym..til ma hp cover cracked n luckily ma fon stil okae..dammit larh!..cn i juz 4get bout hym..itz been 2mths larh..PLZ GOD!!..kip mie strength to overcome diz quickily..i cnt stand de hell inside mie!

2007-12-26T07:42:00.000-08:00

mornin went for de social werker appointment..haix..tok tok onlie larh..den went home take a rest b4 i go out for xmas..

evenin went to ma long lost childhood fren, CASPER, for xmas..we lost cntct wif each other since we haf to go to a diff primary sch..aft 10 yrs i didnt c hym, hes so diff..more smart n tall..he seems to b a frenly guy..well ate turkey, spagettie n for dessert was cheesecake..haha yum yum..wel didnt haf tyme to take pics wif casper coz dere were lots of guests..but b4 i went off, he wanted to take a pic wif mie, n everione was teasin us.." casper n rika returns! cn both sides set a date for their engagement?! haha"..i was blushin lyke hell, so does casper..haha..hope i could get close to hym like we used to..but both of us changed so much, i dun tink tat could b possible larh..hmm..nvm bout tat..

lazli i cnt wait for tml!!! ITE APPLICATION RESULTS!! wee!! den fri gona dyed ma hair brown! haix gona mish ma orangy hair badly sia!! ouh nvm..for de sake of sch..hehe!

2007-12-25T08:54:00.000-08:00

sent de guests ytd nite..mish dem alr..hehe..but had a great fun tyme wif dem..hmm i saw ritza tryin 2 get to noe a gerl now..so guez hes movin on n forgotten mie..wich iz gud..but i felt a bit sad..i noe im tryin hard to 4get hym but it takes tyme..haix..i found diz song frm imeem..itz kinda tells wat i reali felt since hes gone..somedae i guez somedae..haix

tml i haf social worker appointment agen..haiz so leceh n mlz larh..

2007-12-23T10:21:00.000-08:00

gosh!! too bz n tired to post sey..aww wher shld i begin..k on 22nd fetch mie god motha n her gf..but b4 goin 2 de airport went to kenduri ferst..haha met ma cousins larh sey..huhu!..den ard 10pm went off to de airport!..b4 i go on let mie show u ma lil bro new hair cut..! haha he cut a few hours b4 goin to de kenduri..

kecoh cousins

22nd dec..AIRPORT

while waitin for guests in de airport

mom loves wen her baby kisses her

mom hates wen her baby make sexy lips!!

23rd dec..diz mornin..went to sentosa by cable car..

mom n mie in cable car

lil bro in cable car

den the merlion...

lil bro n lion berg

lil bro n godmom's gf in lion mouth

nxt stop for lunch at IMAGES OF S'PORE

ma godmom n her gf

1 boy 3 ladies

vehicle

nxt stop VIVO CITY!

den den ORCHARD!!

LASTLY esplanade!

ouh yea wif al tat fun..tml 24th iz de laz dae of their trip..sending tyme off at nite but b4 tat goin geylang shoppin ferst..haiyoyoyo..LOL!

2007-12-21T07:36:00.000-08:00

ouh sooooo tired agen..cleaning de whole house by maself..i juz leave mom to rest..gota clean de house coz tml ma god mommy frm thailand comin to s'pore..!! wee!! i mish her so much sey!!! but b4 fetchin her at 10pm tml, gota go kenduri arwah auntie mok at uma nenek ferst..haix juz mish ma late aunt so much..mish her food, her laughter, her care n concern, her kindness n de tyme we had 2gether..i juz mish her by ma side..shes lyke ma 2nd mom..oh god y u took her awae frm mie..ferst u took ma step grand daddy, den u took ma aunt..haix..

aww..enuf of de emo larh rika..haha..gona mit ma beautiful cousinz tml..haha camwhorin agen..huhu!!..cool uh..lazli wen i came home ytd, ritza called mie twice..i wana ans but ma pp8 abez..haix..wth he wan sumore..we got nth left to tok about animore..we r over alr per..ape agy dier nk siak..haix..n btw ritza, if u tink of askin mie to b wif u agen, mimpi arh!..im nt gona fal for ur fuckin swit werds..AND I HATE YOU!!!

2007-12-20T08:27:00.000-08:00

soooo tired wen i came back from nenek house..! so i juz update de pics larh.. btw 2dae was de ferst tyme mie n ma cousins took pics 2gether..haha de bonds wif ma 2cousins r goin quite wel..yeah! happie tao..

ma new red skinny

pics we took at shaw plaza mac near ma nenek house

2007-12-19T11:06:00.000-08:00

haix haix im so bored!!! i cnt wait 4 de release of de results for JAN 08 INTAKE diz 27th..haix haix..now alr 3am of hari raye haji..stil nt sleepy..hmm gona mit everi1 at grandma house tml..i dun wana kip quiet animore..i wana build back ma bond wif ma cousins tat was broken a few yrs ago..aft diz misunderstanding..aku tk nk sombong agy arh..lao aku tk bboal, drg pn tk bboal..tk sala kn lao aku nk make ferst move..stakt bboal ngn drg..at least raye happening sket..sedere mare aku sume maseh kecik2 cume de ferst 3 larh..includin mie yg da teenagers..agy2 kite 3 pompan..mish de childhood i had wif dem sey..haix

tml noon gona get ma skinny..den ard 3 g uma nenek..mesti makcik pakcik aku tanye psl results..cian mom n dad sey..mesti drg malu sia..aku acad tapy kene masok NITEC..tk le promote..i hope drg tk kutok mie in frnt of ma parents arh..drg mulot kn mcm sial..kite satu familie pn nk gossip2 n uat fitnah..umor jek da tue p prangai lebe rabak dari adeq aku sia..nvm larh..werds cnt brin mie down..but dunno bout ma parents..haix..i hate livin like diz..i gona change alot since nxt yr..n wil b changin to gud nt bad..cnt sae much now coz i could b influenced rite..but i wil control maself nt too..coz now i influenced bad enuf alr..i noe how it feels wen u r caught doin wrg tings..diz is ma plan n ma new start to make a beta life n future ahead! YEAH!!

ouh yarh!! ASIAN IDOL HADY MIRZA WON!! damn fuckin bullshit sia!!
i wan INDIAN IDOL TO WIN! ABHIJEET SAWANT!! i love hym sia!! haha
diz is de video clip peterpan n abhijeet sings TAK BISAKAH n kya muhje pyaar hai! HINDUSTAN FEVER ARH!! WEE!!

a song i love i fav now!! diz is al tat i got to sae if i c tat asshole ritza!!

You always check yourself
In every mirror you see, day and night
And it is such a shame
Your vanity is to blame
Oh why don't you knock it off

It is the pointlessness
That's got me loving less
I cannot handle that you're such a wannabe
You're caught up in yourself
And you don't even see

I won't be crying when I'm lonely
'Cause I'll be making sure I'll have a good time
Hey nothing wrong when I'm alone now
'Cause I'm alone and I'm proud
I won't be crying when I'm lonely

I'm sure you don't believe
That anybody can tell you're a fool
I'll bet that you believe
They only think that you're cool
And a handsome devil too

But baby trust me now
You better turn around
'Cause otherwise you're gonna fall and hit the ground
'Cause all this beauty boy
Won't last eternally

I won't be crying when I'm lonely
'Cause I'll be making sure I'll have a good time
Hey nothing wrong when I'm alone now
'Cause I'm alone and I'm proud
I won't be crying when I'm lonely

I won't be crying when I'm lonely
'Cause I'll be making sure I'll have a good time
Hey nothing wrong when I'm alone now
'Cause I'm alone and I'm proud

I won't be crying when I'm lonely
'Cause I'll be making sure I'll have a good time
Hey nothing wrong when I'm alone now
'Cause I'm alone and I'm proud
I won't be crying when I'm lonely

2007-12-18T02:50:00.000-08:00

ouh gosh!! got ma results..n guez wat..i got 11 points sia!!..cnt promote sec 5!!..but aft i heard frm ma principal bout de NEW DIRECT ENTRY TO FULL TIME HIGHER NITEC COURSES UNDER JOINT INTAKE EXERCISE..diz allow us 4 NA to enter higher nitec on 2008..but ONLY if we get 19 points or less for our 5 best subj includin eng n maths..but i got 20!!! WTF!!! 1 more point to promote n to higher nitec..i fuckin hate diz sia!!!! i haf to go nitec now..haiz..nvm larh..diz r ma choices..i juz applied for ite! weee! hope i get ma ferst 3 choices..

1st ~ retail [bishan]
2nd ~ tourism [clementi]
3rd ~ multimedia tech [simei]
4th ~ hair fashion & design [simei]
5th ~ food & beverage operations [clementi]
6th ~ pastry & baking [clementi]
7th ~ nursing [simei]
8th ~ culinary skills [clementi]
9th ~ fitness training [clementi]
10th ~ digital audio & video [simei]

2007-12-17T06:50:00.000-08:00

hell shit to bloody ritza..he went to asked sha2 ma new num..den sha didnt noe wat to do so she juz gaf it to hym..den he asked mani ques whether sha knew y i change num or wat..den sha gaf an excuse tat she didnt noe much coz both of us didnt cntct much alr..aft awhile ritza cal mi hp n maki2 mie..he blamed mie tat i changed his frenster passwerd..WICH I DIDNT LARH..i went to log in his frenster, n de passwerd was stil de same..WTH!!..he forgot den he blamed mie! NONSENSE! LAME FUCKER!!..den his shoutout was "dun eva2 change ma fuckin passwerd n stop playing childish game"..
WTF!! u forget ur fuckin passwerd den put al de blame on mie!! u cntct mie back juz for ur frenster n blamed tat i caused de silent break n didnt inform u bout ma new num!!.. SIAL LARH..i dun care u wan to put de blame on mie arh..hu playin game here sia..go n play ur fuckin hell game n win arh..but wats de prize STMF?!!

argh! go to hel wif tat shit..tml results!! cnt wait!! n gona get ma skinny!! weee!!

2007-12-14T05:12:00.000-08:00

woke up den look at his pics..n cried agen..haix wats wrg wif mie..cn i stop tinkin of hym..haix..den go n get ready for de medical social worker appointment..went dere wif mie mom jek..ferst ma social worker took to mie alone den i switch wif ma mom..aft al tat chat, we agreed to come for another appointment on 26 dec..oh gosh, wen wil diz end..haix..den went to toapayoh n eat dinner..den went shoppin awhile..n guez wat, i ordered a skinny jeans sey..guez wich colour i chose?? red or orange??..haha cnt wait..gona get dem soon..huhu!!..hmm hope hes doin fine without mie..haix :(

2007-12-13T07:17:00.000-08:00

y muz i cry wen he wan leave?..y sia?..i juz like hym per nt love per..y muz i cry so much..weird sia he gave mie excuse as ppl change..hah!..y did i fall for sum1 hu cn change his feelings for sum1 else weneva he wans..do i mean anitin to hym..am i ur crush or juz a fren..but now wat matters is u like ur long lost fren instead of mie..n i wil get u out of ma mind..seriuz aft u did al diz to mie, do u tink we shld stil b frenz?..for wat?..u let mi go is alr like lettin go off our frenship..
forgif n forget kn..ouh of coz!.. i forgif u n gona forget bout us n forget you..i juz find itz beta tat we take it as we dunno each other n move..gud luck k wif her..bye

2007-12-12T05:24:00.000-08:00

ouch ouch argh!!!!!!!.. had a checkup at SGH diz mornin.. was so sleepy but force maself..ma mom, lil bro n sha2 accompany mie dere..
reached dere half an hr b4 de appointment..went to had ice teh susu n cheese egg sandwich at de food court YUM YUM! den head to de O&G centre for ma appointment..ma CID assistant came a few mins late..gave ma particulars n IC at de counter.. n fuckin guez wat?? tat old nurse spell ma num wrongli! argh hate wen ppl mispell ma name..den went to sit n wait for ma turn..wen ma turn arrived, de nurse took ma blood pressure, temperature, ht n wt..den she asked to..erm duno how to sae..uh get some urine for her..hahah..she gave mie 2 cups n told mie to fill at least half for each..she told mie to take ma tyme no nid to rush..haha i was a bit nervous..juz a pretty bit..den wen to de toilet n alr felt wana urinate..haha silly!..

aft tat had to go to de CONSULTATION room..de doc ask mie loads of ques..den examine ma whole body..had to b naked sia..de room is freezin cold sey..den she touch touch TOUCH!!!! argh im bein molest!! huahuahua..aft tat get dressed n sat beside de doc..she wan to take ma blood for a test..n i began to werry sia..itz been like 4 yrs since i had ma laz injection..n diz injection is diff sia..she poke de veri thin needle n took 2 tube of ma blood..ma blood was maroon haha! kendeng!.. de size of de tube was like our science experimental test tube larh..haha! n wen she took out de needle was de most fucked up part..it hurt bit larh..den ma whole felt numb..haha den haf to wait for de nxt appointment date..itz on 10jan..wah haf to wait for 1 more mth..argH!!!

finalli went to toapayoh n ate lunch..i cnt eat much sey..was havin bad headache al de wae aft de injection..hehe! weak arh! haha.. but no matter how hurts de headache was, deres tyme for some shoppin..ma mom bought mie a long sleeve blouse..tat ma pic wearin it..haix now feelin unwell..guez gona haf fever soon..haiyo..

confessions of a broken heart!

2007-12-10T09:54:00.000-08:00

played this song
✖[CONFESSIONS OF A BROKEN HEART BY LINDSAY LOHAN]✖
i modified the lyrics based on mie and ritza..
so this great meaningful song is dedicated to both ritza and ma dad

I wait for the postman to bring me a letter
I wait for the good Lord to make me feel better
And I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders
A couple [FAMILY] in crisis that only grows older

Why’d you have to go
Why’d you have to go
Why’d you have to go

rika to ritza, rika to ritza [DAUGHTER TO FATHER]
I am broken but I am hoping
rika to ritza, rika to ritza [DAUGHTER TO FATHER]
I am crying, a part of me is dying and
These are, these are
The confessions of a broken heart

And I read all your old notes, your final message
[AND I WEAR ALL YOUR OLD CLOTHES, YOU POLO SWEATER]
I dream of another you
The one who would never (never)
Leave me alone to pick up the pieces
A lover [DADDY] to hold me, that’s what I needed

So why’d you have to go
Why’d you have to go
Why’d you have to go!!

rika to ritza, rika to ritza [DAUGHTER TO FATHER]
I don’t know you, but I still want to
rika to ritza, rika to ritza [DAUGHTER TO FATHER]
Tell me the truth, did you ever love me
Cause these are, these are
The confessions of a broken heart

I love you,
I love you
I love you
I....!!!!!
I love you!!

rika to ritza, rika to ritza [DAUGHTER TO FATHER]
I don’t know you, but I still want to
rika to ritza, rika to ritza [DAUGHTER TO FATHER]
Tell me the truth...
Did you ever love me!!!?
Did you ever love me?
These are.....
The confessions...of a broken heart

Ohhh....yeah

I wait for the postman to bring me a letter..

2007-12-09T07:15:00.000-08:00

tok to opick laz nite..make sure u kip ur promises KATAK..BLUEK!..a survey i did..

1. Rate your social life from 1-10.
•► 5

2. Is your hair long or short?
•► short

3. Do you have many friends in real
life?
•► last time..now only my dear
girlfriends..

4. Name of friends you last hang out
with for today?
•► stayed at home..

5. Do you love chicken?
•► yes..

6. Last three drinks you had?
•► orange juice..plain water..milo

7 . Do you eat fish?
•► yesh

8. Do people mispronounce or spell
your name incorrectly?
•► yesh for ma real name onlie

9 . Who was the last guy you have
crush with ?
•► him..still ongoing..

10 . Last guy who crush on you?
•► hmm deres TWO..but i like one onlie

11. Any food that made you smile
today?
• ► ate maggie sial!..smile for wat?

12 . Name one thing you have in common
with your friends?
•► the love for freedom..

13 . Do you trust your friends?
•► one onlie!

14. How old will you be in five years?
•► 21!!! weeee...!

15. Do you believe in love?
•► YESH!

16. Except for family and friends, who
are you in love with?
•► hmm nt ready to fall for ani1 yet..but i got a crush on hym

17 . Do you honestly believe you have
found the right guy/girl?
•► nv did!..wish i could find de rite 1

18. Are you someone’s best friend?
•► yes of course..

19. Do you love music?
•► yes duh..

20 . Last song you listened to?
•► sum 41 with mie

2 1. Would you rather play an
instrument or sing?
•► play instrument

22. Who was the last person you talked
to?
•► BRO

23. Who was the last person to call
you dear?
•► opick but he called mie HUNNIE! bluek!

24. Would you consider yourself a
worrier?
•► alwaes

25. Do you consider yourself as an
EMO?
•► emo as in emotional den yesh!

2007-12-08T06:35:00.000-08:00

2dae wen to lavender..went to beach rd..wif mom n dad..bought loads of food n 3 new thai dramas..went home had a bad headache..den started watchin 1 drama while msgin opick..his msgs was diff..n alwaes everi mornin he wil msg mie but 2dae no mornin msg..he seems to b quiet..so i tout he was in a bad mood or was it bout ma new fren..since he noe i got to noe a new fren, he seems to tok to mie differently..especialli laz nite wen we tok..i kept askin hym is dere sumthin wrg..but he sae nth..everitime i asked, dier jwb tk de pape..haiz..

i felt lost n wanted to b alone for a while..juz too much tings on ma head..im sowie if i offended u but i juz felt so fucked up..mayb i tink too much..but i care for his feelings sey..i dun like org simpan2 prasaan drg..haiz..

2007-12-07T00:24:00.000-08:00

huhu! went to CID ytd!! argh de CID was 1 fucker sia!! he wan to noe so mani tings for ma statement of de case!! irritatin sia!! den he wil b de permanent CID for ma life record! ani shit i do wrg in de future tat is reported wil b sent to hym! WTH!!!
came back so moody sia! n de shit tat comes out frm ma stupid dad mouth make mie more.........dammit!!!

but like a miracle, i got to noe a HOTTIE, Mal..get to noe hym n tok to hym..wah he brighten up ma dae sey..i kept on smilin non stop larh sey..no guy cn make mie smile as much as hym b4..huhu!! hes a swit guy n we got silly stuffs in common..huhu!! midnite tok to opick 4 awhile..opick uploaded new pics tat he tinks like bdk2..but to mie cute per!!..haha!!

2007-12-05T07:37:00.000-08:00

hoho!! im feelin super great w/o hym sia! even im facin some probs wif familie n police, but im happie everi dae..even i cn go no where but i haf ppl i love ard mie..yarh itz a bore but hey suffer now njoy lata yarh..onlie those hu understand mie r de ones hu truli love mie..so guys if ure tinkin of wantin mie as ur gerl, u gotta tolerate ma life ma hellshit..

been tokin to opick everidae..n he called mi minarep!! noty eyh..wel u r no worse dan mie matrep..hehe jokin larh..opick new pics hot2 larh sey..mesti gerls terpkat nye..hehe bluek!!

tml haf to mit CID at 10am..damn shit! so earli..!..cn sum1 wake mie up?..hoho!

2007-12-02T17:55:00.000-08:00

HEAR THE SONG AND FEEL MIE

Timbaland - Apologize lyrics | LyricsMode.com

I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothin new - yeah yeah
I loved you with a fire red-
Now it's turning blue, and you say...
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah
I'm holdin on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground...

2007-11-28T22:42:00.000-08:00

I WANA ASK MA FRENZ DIZ..
haf u eva been in a rlationship, wher ur partner nv love u at al?..haf u eva feel like hes nt true to u?..haf u eva wonder he might cheat u?..wif al diz in ur mind, do u dare to voice out n ask hym?..r u afraid he might leave u?

wel for mie, i truz hym totali..i dun care wat ppl tink of mie..ppl might tink im stupid to truz sum1 easili..but wat matters is both of us love each other n understand each other..but unfortunateli, i was wrg..now i realised i shldnt truz ani1 easili regardless i love hym or nt..he haf to prove tat hes honest ferst..i shldnt haf believe his werds..i gave hym everi bit of ma heart, ma money n ma life..but wat i get in return was worse dan nth..wat i wan in return is faithfullness n trust frm hym..is it so hard for hym?..y did u come back darlin?..y did u brin mie down agen?..is it fun to hurt sum1 tat love u so deeply?..is it great to use sum1 hu gives u everitin generousli?..FUCK LARH! SUM! PLZZ TEL MIE!!! WHY DIZ ALWAES HAPPEN TO MIE?!! IN EVERI SGL RELATIONSHIP I HAF, WHY MUZ DIZ HAPPEN?!!

nv tout hes juz a fake..nv tout he pretend..nv tout he wil used mie..aft al i gif..aft al i've changed..if hes reali de shit i tink he is, i gotta leave hym soon..havin a major prob now..bout hym n ma familie..i cnt tel yet..but juz take it as itz gona b over..he crushed mie once n crushed mie agen..deres nt gona b another tyme..diz is final for u..soon i wil sae gudbye to u but rmb diz, i love u al along..even i noe u pretend to love mie..if anitin bad happens to u, i wan u to understand tat i haf to do wats best for mie..hope u understand..if u love mie n seriuz wif our relationship, diz wil nv happen..juz wana sae im sowie..no matter how much u hurt mie al along, i stil love u..i juz haf to stop de pain maself..

nt gona log in ma frenster often..n mayb diz wil b ma last post..bye

2007-11-25T16:31:00.000-08:00

wanted to post ytd but was too upset..even now im stil cryin over wat happened ytd..we almost break up..haix..i wana tink bout it but i stil cn post it larh..ma blog become a place for mie let out everitin bout life..

itz been 1wks plus, both of us didnt tok much..coz hes bz werkin n wen he got home, he alwaes fall aslp..i dun mind tat n stil wait for diz weekend to tok to hym..coz sat he werk half dae n sun off..den i cnt top up coz no cash..ma cash all i gave hym..even i transfer almost ma whole pp8 for hym but ytd ma mom was kind to top up for mie..got back at 7 frm de market wif mom..didnt brin ma hp coz ma pp8 onli 4cents..brin along oso no use rite..got back n saw 2mish call..1 was switheart..de other was ma x Alfi..so i text alfi n told hym to cal back..coz itz been like 3mths since we cntct each other..since we broke up larh..but he didnt response so i call switheart..tok to hym bout 5mins den he told mie to hold on coz he wana tok to his fren awhile..den conincidentli alfi call n i pick up..wana tel switheart tat ma x cal, but he was bz tokin so i on loudspeaker n tok to alfi..so switheart cn hear..

alfi asked mie how i've been doin n stuffs.. he wana thanked mie bout de bdae wish i gave hym..he appreciated it larh..den he tok bout de break up we had..n de wae he tok to mie was miang jgk larh..but tats de wae he tok to de girls..den switheart told mie to tok to ma x ferst den cal hym back n he hang up..i noe hes angry n i told alfi tat i wana cal ma guy ferst..n wen i called, switheart start banging mie wif harsh werds..sayin i pentingkn ma x den hym..wen he hang up, i didnt automatic cal hym back..he told mie to tok ma x instead of hym larh..he asked to go fuck ma x..he sae al diz..how wil u tink i felt..i tried so hard to xplain to hym but he juz told mie to shut up..i told hym i got nth wif alfi n al diz while i didnt cntct hym n he cal mie up to check mie out mcm tanye khabar g2..den switheart sae "go ask hym to check u out n in larh..dier lebe penting dari aku per.." itz nt like wat he tink larh..den he sae "ya ur x tok to u bkn maen nye miang.." den i argued back "but did i tok to hym miang2 tk?..i put loudspeaker jd u leh dgr i bbual ngn dier so u wont tink i tok to ma x behind ur back.."den he sae bullshit....excuses...

he dun get ma point..if u r in ma guy's place, wich u prefer..u wan ur gerl to tok wif her x alr den inform u or u wana hear wat ur gerl n her x tok bout?..ya ma its ma fault tat i didnt tel hym tat ma x cal ferst b4 answerin de cal..but itz becoz hes tokin to his fren, i tried to interupt but he didnt hear..den wat else he wan mie to do sia?..we argued n he kip maki2 mie n told mie "if ur x is so impt den go fuck hym..[ on ma mind was lao aku g maen ngn dier aru kau menyesal sak ]..even wif de fuckin wae he tok to mie, i stil tok to hym niceli but i did raise ma voice abit coz he doesnt wana hear ma explanation..he wan mie to ask alfi to cal back n tel alfi mi n hym argued..he wana hear wat alfi respond..n i followed wateva he wan mie 2 ask alfi regardless i mean it or nt..coz i noe itz nt alfi's fault..itz ma fault..he shld blame mie onli n dun blame alfi but he dun care..he wan mie 2 ask alfi whether alfi haf feelings for mie tk..den alfi sae "yesh i do n i mish u even i haf ma gerl but i stil regret lettin u go..." i was damn! ma guy heard tat n he got worse

i hang up alfi's line n ma guy asked mie for break..he sae itz over..n i was fuckin hel shocked n told hym nt to let mie go..i beg for his forgiveness but he sae wateva fuck arh..he sae "now u cn tok to hym niceli but to mie u raise ur voice.." den i sae "i raise ma voice wif u becoz u dun wana hear mie out.." den he sae "ya i wont hear ani bullshit frm u animore n tel ur mom tat she cn b happie nw tat u dun haf a guy animore n 1st dec u cn go out wif ani bastard instead of mie.." n he hang up..i called agen n try to clear out but he dun bother to hear n hang up agen..but at laz he try to listen to mie but den he wan mie 2 cal ma x n tok to hym harshli..tok to hym like hes de one to b blame n he caused ma rlationship..but in heart i noe itz nt alfi's fault but i stil followed wat he sae..i argued wif alfi n blamin hym tat itz his fault tat i broke up..n alfi sae he doesnt haf ani intention coz he called up juz wana sae thkz n tanye khabr..but since ma guy told mie to blame hym..wich i did.. i tok to alfi without ani respect..kip blamin hym n stuffs..alfi got impatience too but i kept blamin hym becoz tat was wat ma guy wan...ma guy wana tok to alfi so i ask alfi to cal ma guy..n dey quarrel larh..but aft alfi hang up, ma guy told mie tat he stil consider mie his gf..but hes stil reconsiderin..he might change his mind..he told mie nt to b too hapy..den i asked hym wat made hym to change his mind?..he sae de wae i argued n blame alfi was wat he wan..he wan his gerl to b firm n pentingkn dier srg..he sae i cnt pentingkn kwn2 or ma x ulu..

wen he sae tat i noe he dun get ma point at al..he stil tinks i pentingkn alfi at de ferst place..den up to hym larh..i admit i shld b blamed psl punce dier dari mie..mayb u were wonderin y i beg hym nt to let mie go even wen i noe he dun bother to understand mie at all..well itz becoz i noe i did a mistake n i dun wan hym to walk awae like tat..aku rela biar dier pegy dgn care baek dari care mcm nie..itz nt bout how much i love but wat matters is he understand mie..n den if he wana let mie go den he cn..now i duno wats on his mind but i reali hope he wil tink back n realised tat i pentingkn dier..if i tk pentingkn dier, i wouldnt haf tok to alfi de wae he wanted..i felt like a dog following wateva his master sae..i dunno larh..tel mie did i do de rite ting? n would he consider lettin mie go?..but i swear de arguement was a fuckin CHILDISH one!! argh~

2007-11-22T19:33:00.000-08:00

wah wah..com got tons of virus sey..den muz do system recovery..haha everi data lost..like juz bought a new com sial..but nvm larh..beta den haf a com tats hang2 non stop..

darlin was bz werkin but we msg each other n tok for a while..no arguements so far..haha..juz mish each other so much larh..cn u dont mit ur guy 4 a wk or more?..conferm u cant stand it rite..but i haf to sey..haiz..lucki he cnt accpt tat..

mish sch so much..haiz...cn we change de date for n results earlier?...argh i cnt wait sia

2007-11-18T07:33:00.000-08:00

laz nite tokin to darlin den at 3am, he fall aslp like usual..
i hang up n do wateva i cn do..on music loudli and dance alone..release ma strezz..
n no 1 at home so i cn do wateva i wan..haha silly mie..

didnt slp al dae..at 10 pluz darlin woke up, n i called hym..
den wen he brin up diz repeated ques agen..
"juz a random ques, wat if we hang out 2gether wif ma fren n his gf, like a couple date larh..den we booked a room in 1 hotel, n if i ask u to make love on de same bed wif tat couple, wil u?.."
i was like..nt diz ques agen..but diz was how i replied..
"if tats ur plan, i wont even step into de hotel..if i wana make love, i do it privateli wif u..without ani other ppl watchin us.."
den he replied "but dey dun get to touch u wat..juz watch us do our ting n den dey do theirs..n finali dey wil noe tat ma gerl make love reali gud"

damn! i nv tout tat kind of idea was on his mind..gud or bad in making love is nth to show off to ppl..tats ma principle..n im a gerl larh for god sake..his guy fren wil get to c ma body larh..i was askin maself how could he allow his frenz to c mie body?..im nt a pornstar larh..we argued agen of coz..

den i ask tat fuckin ques back to hym..he sae "he dun mind his frenz get to c us make love becoz dey wil b doin it themselves, juz tat we share de same room n bed..no big deal dey get to c us becoz i take sex as a totalli open ting arh..dey wil b able to c onli, but dey cannot touch u..so y r u so werried?.."

damn his response was upsettin mie a lot..i replied "ya itz true tat dey canot touch mie but dey cn c mie body..n wat if dey tok bout mie to other ppl??wat wil happen to ma reputation..u cn b proud becoz ur gerl was hot n fuck real gud..but mie as ur gerl embarrassed!..i tout u wil respond like sayin u dun wana share de room coz u wana do it personalli wif mie onli n sae ur fren wil get to c ma body wich is nt gud for mie..BUT ur response was fuckin opposite larh sak!..

kept on arguin agen n weneva i wana speak up..he told mie to shut up..WTF i nv disrespect hym even once larh..mayb i juz raise ma voice abit tats all..wif de wae he tok to mie n respond to tat stupid ques..i finalli realise his colours arh..he do everitin for hymself most regardless of de conquences wil b gud or bad for mie..but he stil sae he love mie so much..by sayin iloveyou doesnt prove u honestli love mie..nv noe u juz take advantage of mie..nvm larh..i noe im too softhearted, too addicted to hym, trust hym too much, put too much hopes on hym n gif in too much to hym..al de "TOO" arh!!

but for mie, weneva i decide to love hym n decide to be wif hym..i gif al i haf..is how he respect n appreciate wat i given to hym, tat wil prove he love mie sincereli..i told hym tat but i duno he get wat i mean or nt..den he apologise n sae tat im a pleasant gerl, a gerl tat everi guy wan n a gerl tat is matured enuf for ma age..i took it as a compliment onli larh..i noe he stil dun get al ma points..up 2 hym larh..we'll c how it goes frm nw..

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MyHotComments

2007-11-17T15:52:00.000-08:00

wah ytd arguement was de worse i had wif hym..
he test ma patience..cross ma limits..eventhough itz a smal matter
but both of us kip pushin it more n more..
we were tokin on de fon den i was checkin frenster n online..
den Idad msn mie..he sae he wana tok to some 1, he asked mi whether i cn cal hym..
i asked darlin niceli for his permission..den he sae go la go...aft u tok to hym den u cal mie back k...
i noe sumthin was wrg..so i asked hym wats wrg..he kept sayin nth n wateva..
den i got angry..n sae i ask u niceli, n u respond harshli..fine! i dun tok to hym k, even if u hang up de fon, i wont tok to hym oso..diz is nt de ferst tyme u replied to mie like tis..
den he asked mie wats wrg..i replied juz drop it larh..

den he sae if becoz u dun get to tok to hym, n u wana argue wif mie, u cn go ahead n tok to hym la..i dun mind arh..
i sae stop it n drop de matter..i was pissed off by how he respond..
den i was moody of coz..but aft sumtime he decide to apologise..
but i juz kept quiet..den he ask mie y r u so short tempered nw?..becoz of hym, u became so sensitif..

i was like damn!..u dun get ma point sia..i was angry becoz of his harsh response nt becoz i dun get to tok to idad..wats de use of sayin sowie sak..n we argued agen..
by de 4th arguement, he said sowie agen but stil dun get de reason i got angry..n he start explainin his reasons..he was jelez wen i care bout idad..idad is juz a fren la ehk..dulu i love hym but nw we r juz frenz coz both of us moved on..n de nxt guy i love n decide to move on was u larh darlin!! for goodness sake, try to understand mie arh..idad wanted to tok to mie becoz i was alwaes his listener n i noe his life most..but since im wif darlin, idad decide to leave mie alone larh..he dun wana disturb ma rlationship n dun wana cause ani disaster animore..and de other reason he wana tok to mie was becoz de gerl he love n wana b wif, leave hym laz mth..n now shes attached wif sum1 one..tat gerl stil got guts to sae tat she love idad wich make him fall for her deeply but it turn out diz wae..TATS ALL LARH!

darlin juz dun wana listen to de reasons n kip tinkin negativeli..i usuali give in to hym coz i dun wana argue..but diz tyme, i lost ma patience totali..n wen tat happens, i wil b short tempered..get agressive easili..but i love hym so much larh..i juz try to cool maself down n let de matter rest..

todae b4 goin to de interview, went to top up for darlin n maself..
wen i went to de interview but de stupid supervisor was nt ard..den y de fuck u put de straits times advertisement u haf 11am - 2pm interview sia?!..urgh~!...den went to amk hub n walk2..so bored larh sey..came home slp den woke up n cal darlin..den got arguements wif ma whole familie, one by one, den lastli darlin agen..haiz juz duno wats wrg wif diz wk..juz got arguements agen n agen..wth

2007-11-16T09:55:00.000-08:00

laz nite didnt tok to darlin coz darlin off his hp..
hes hp batt was flat actuali wen hes otw home..
den wen he reached home, he charged his hp but didnt realise de switch was off..
haha DONG DONG..den he didnt wake up 4 werk..coz i cnt wake hym up..
den wen he woke up ard 12, he was havin a bad headache so he went polyclinic
n get mc..doc saes hes havin a slight fever..pity darlin..

todae went to catch ma lil bro perform at his sch annual awards at 9am..
quite sleepy coz laz nite didnt slp..was waitin for darlin jek..
ma bro dance hindustan larh sey!! so cute arh..was so surprised..
den saw ma x pri fren Fatin..tok to her awhile den walk off..
shes de one hu flirt wif ma x Fadli in frenster..haha..wth

den went to send ma bro to his fren's house..
den head to toapayoh gym wif Shasha..haha gona sweat it out larh sey..
was tiring coz itz been awhile since i werkout..haha but aft tat,
felt so FRESH!!..went to walk2 at toapayoh while waitin for ma mom
to go dere n haf lunch 2gether..so bored sia de place..
den wen i was orderin de food, darlin cal..alermak wrg timing..
was so happy tat he called..he explained everitin to mie..
yesh i believe hym..even if it was a lame excuse or wat..
i wil stil trust hym..but if 1 dae, i caught hym cheatin on mie..
den i wil bitch slap hym gudbye!! haha!

now 2pluz alr..juz finished tokin to darlin..den his incoming free
suspended..haiz..he got no cash to top up..he asked to top up 4 hym ferst..
but i onli got 20 bucks..n ma pp8 oso low..i dunno wat to do sia..if he top up wen he get his pay on 1 dec, itz like another 2wks..how cn i not cntct hym for tat long..
mayb i top up $18 for mine tml den i transfer hym $10 larh..haf to la..hmm..

tml goin 4 CHEERS walk in interview at toapyoh..mom onli allow mie to werk
at bshan or toapayoh..tats y itz hard for mie 2 get a job til nw..
diz is ma laz chance..coz im left wif 1 mth of holidae..i do feel kinda lazy
to go toapayoh agen tml but i haf to force maself larh..juz wana try..hope i get de retail assistant job sey..plz god help..argh~..

sumthin darlin made for mie

promises r lyk flowers..
flowers wil wilther away as de weather changes
promises wil b forgotten as tym goes by..
but i know ma heart wil nvr change
becoz it wil pampered by ur love from tym 2 tym..

2007-11-14T16:53:00.000-08:00

ytd check darlin frenster..
diz gerl sophie msg..askin darlin to cal her..urgent larh..
i was curious la..so i ask darlin..darlin sae itz his fren onli..
i dun believe tat la..i noe deres more to diz..den i went to check sophie frenster
darlin pic was in 1 of her pics..caption was "u'll alwaes b rmb..nikki fey"
WTH..admit jelez but curious more..
her ferst featured fren was darlin oso..argh~!

wen i tel darlin agen, darlin sae she was 1 of his x..
a gerl he know n hang out wif b4 mie..
WTF..ferst tel mie shes ur fren now ur x..?!
cn u b honest wif mie...
but becoz hes werkin, i didnt make a fuss larh..
juz kept tryin to cool maself down..

den at nite, i check ma frenster agen..
den another gerl, one of darlin frens, Kimi..
she comment baby danish pics sayin "ur baby meh?"
yesh baby danish is nt ma baby but im wif ritza now...
SO DANISH CONSIDER MINE OSO!..kpo kia..
den de edited pic of mie, darlin n baby danish..
she commented "woah..gmbr baek siol"
wats her motive sia..

aft darlin finished werk, i wana asked hym bout kimi n sophie agen
but i scared hes tired so i asked his permission
whether he mind mie askin hym agen..
he doesnt mind n i told hym..
he said he suspect kimi like hym tats y..he told mie 2 ignore kimi..
den he told mie tat he called sophie alr..it was about she had an accident...
badly injured n would like darlin to visit her..
but darlin told her, he cnt coz bz werkin..
was relieved actuali..but for tat kimi, make sure u pissed off ma frenster..
i hate wen ppl haf negatif motive or remarks bout ma frenster..
if u haf ani shit u r nt sure wif, u cn ask mie personalli k bitch..
ure lame la ehk..for darlin's sake, i dun wana make a fuss..
but if deres a 2nd tyme, dun tel mie i didnt warned u!..

diz mornin, woke darlin up for werk..luckili i did tat or else he wil b late..
but nenek nag at hym de whole tyme..wich make darlin so angry n pissed off..
i dun reali noe how to cool ppl down wen dey r mad..but i tried..
darlin find fault for mie like y i woke hym up onli for 3daes wen he werk for 4 daes alr..i said i was stil aslp n didnt wake hym up on 1 of de daes..i didnt wana argue..
coz i noe hes in a bad mood n sufferin frm toothache since laz weekend..
pity darlin..wen he get his pay, i bring hym to de dentist ferst..
nenek juz dun understand bout his werk, his pain n stuffs..old ppl r like tat..
but darlin is a sensitive guy..so nw dey dun click..darlin even tout of nt givin nenek money wen he get his pay..i told darlin nt to but he wont listen larh..hmm we'll c how it goes la..haiz

2007-11-13T17:27:00.000-08:00

didnt went out so lazy to update..
but tat sum1 wan mie 2 update..hehe opick la..
i was werried bout hym coz he was..urhh..cnt sae..
rmb 2 take cr of ur wounds..make sure tat its clean frm ani infection..

since darlin start werk, hes so bz n tired..
but stil he msg mie n weneva hes nt so bz,
he wil ask mie to cal..so swit of hym..MUWAHS!
wen he reach home, aft washin up n all,
he wil ask mie to cal..but tok to hym for a few mins,
he fall asleep..haha..so silly..asked hym to sleep dun wan..
wan to tok..wen i called, he fall asleep..haha cute la

darlin, u became ma addiction now..kept tinkin bout hym..
mish hym, mish his hugs n kisses, mish smellin his armpit..
oh gosh..i've gone crazy bout hym..haha..but i cnt wait 4 diz 1 dec
he wil get his allowance n we're goin out 2gether wif baby danish!!
n mayb ma lil bro..goin 2 spend tyme wif each other..weee...!

til nw, i haven get ani job sey..but darlin wan mie 2 stae home onli..
haiyo....bored la stae at home...nvm since darlin wan it diz wae,
den i haf to go wif it..but if i get ani job, i wil werk..haha..
i wan cash larh sey..hmm..

2007-11-11T04:06:00.000-08:00

bout ytd misunderstandin, we argued alot..
both of us took it too seriousli but in de end i noe itz ma fault..
diz is how our arguement started..
aft he sae tat i shld nt b too addicted to hym, i got shocked
so i tok to hym coldli..n he explain to mie tat he sae tat becoz he care bout mie more dan himself..
he wan mie to b strong to face ani probs in de future..
he dun wan mie 2 suffer..

but i was too sensitive n juz went tokin to hym coldli..
he was angry but he kept quiet..aft sumtime i realise
i shldnt tok to hym like tat..so i apologise but he juz dun care..
n tok to mie coldli..he wan mie 2 feel how its like wen ur lover,
tok to u coldli..it was veri harsh..i juz kept quiet til he calm down..
den both of us apologise to each other..

since i teached hym thai or mayb since he decided to change,
he became more patience nw..tats a progress sey..
btw opick didnt online n post his blog ytd..wonder wher is he n is he ok..
hmm...

2007-11-10T11:50:00.000-08:00

nth to post much todae..

was juz doin housewerk, fastin n waitin for hym..

he went out til bout 4am..so while waitin 4 hym,

i edited pics of baby, hym n mie..den i went to do a hp theme of us..

wen i called, he told mie tat police was searchin for hym..

both of us were werried but luckili nth happen..

he didnt noe y de police is lookin for hym..

i told hym to calm down n be careful..

n i told tat i was editin our pics, n he told mie nt 2 b too addicted..

i was shocked wen he sae tat..

he sae he scared if im too addicted to hym, i might suffer if anitin happen to hym..

i sae yes i might suffer but i wil stil wait..

ma addiction is how i show ma love to hym..its how i express ma feelings..

weneva i mish hym or i wait for, i wil do sum stuffs bout us to pass tyme..
stuffs like editing pics or more..

nvm larh..i wil stop al tat..i wil limit2 ma addiction for hym..

2007-11-09T08:46:00.000-08:00

todae tok to hym de whole dae..
we got lots of stuffs to tok bout..
but mostli helpin hym along wif pronouncin thai n de slang of thai..
diz was 1 of his swit msg tat he gave mie in thai..n everi sgl werd he used is rite..
chan kid tink ter ma wan..
[i mish u ytd]
leow chan kid tink ter wan nie
[n i mish u todae]
chan kid tink ter tuk tuk one
[i mish u everidae]
chan cak kid tink ter ter lot pai
[i mish u 4eva]
chan cak rak ter ter lot pai
[i wil love u 4eva]
hehe swit rite?...

but at nite, he wana hang sum1 wif his gang..i was shocked sia wen he sae tat..i pray hard he didnt go..n at last ma pray was fulfil..he nid not go alr..so he came back home..oh god thk q so much..i was so werried u noe..werried tat anitin might happen to hym but im nt dere wif hym..phew..! hehe..love hym larh sey..

2007-11-08T10:41:00.000-08:00

i wif ritza now..n by choosin hym, i hurt mani guys..
especialli tat sum1 special to mie..i was shocked wen u said u like mie so much..
i like u too but juz like..i told u b4 mani guys want mie but ma heart juz cant open 4 dem..becoz i stil cnt 4get ritza..i noe i hurt u like hell but itz 4 our own gud..u juz broke wif ur x n u nid alot of space to start anew n i stil love ritza..yesh aft knowin u, i like u..i ever tout of startin anew wif u but i juz cnt..mayb im nt rite for u..but i reali wan us to stil stae as wat we r now..im so werried wen u sae u rather b dead..plz dear dun eva tink of tat..if u do sumtin stupid, i wil also do..rmb tat

he wana change 4 mie n prove to mie tat hes seriuz..i didnt believe hym until he prove it to mie 2 dae..he asked mie out..we went town n spend tyme til nite..de wae he treat mie was diff..he start learnin thai since ytd..n he practise wif mie..it was fun..both of us r mixed wif thai hehe..looked ard for baby clothes n toys for our baby evan(his son)..

saw vaNN at citylink..she was werkin den she saw mie..hehe she called ma name several times til she shout..haha..tok to hear 4 awhile den i went off..as we walked, some stupid gerls stare at ritza..i was like wth! y r u smilin n starin at ma guy siak..tk tao malu..pompan dier kt sebela pn kau le mentel2 ngn laki dier..

den deres diz idiot gerl walked passed us n she stare at hym den mie..i blink(jeling) at her..n wen we walked passed her agen, she blink at hym..n he saw tat..haha both of us find shes stupid..wateva la..

i had a great tyme wif ritza..but i stil wonder bout hym..i reali hope he understand how i feel..n hope he dun do antin stupid..haiz

2007-11-07T08:55:00.000-08:00

sowie no mood la..reali fucked up..

to opick..
im nt mad at u at all..juz tat i tk de mood to tok..
if i off na hp 2nite, n u cnt get thru..
im sowie ok..i nid to b alone..do understand mi alrite
thkz..

2007-11-06T10:54:00.000-08:00

haiz haiz..been 2 daes n de agent stil haven cal..
i guez i shld find another job alr larh..
wat a waste of time..slpt at 8am ytd..
was tokin wif opick..hehe had a great tyme tokin to hym..
woke up ard 8 too..haha slpt 4 12hrs..
wen ppl msg mie, i wake up n reply den went to slp agen
haha i didnt realised i slpt til 8pm..

ritza called n he wan mie 2 mit hym up..
he wan mie 2 b his gerl..
i juz told hym 2 wait..
i dun wana go into a rlationship yet..
n i nid 2 gain his trust ferst..
haiz..wat shld i do..

2007-11-04T10:39:00.001-08:00

nth to post actuali 2dae..coz de whole dae i juz did housewerk, play com, tok to ma special sum1 RITZA..juz wana let time flies fast to mon..coz i've been waitin for de agent to cal mi n confirm bout werk..

heres 2 pics i edit for Ritza a.k.a Nikki Fey n his loveli baby Danish

gif mie ur comments for diz 2 pics..

2007-11-03T11:02:00.000-07:00

ytd went to adelphi office wif sha to interview at TBC consultin company..
was lost in adelphi bulding..coz diz buildin haf 2 part..
1 is shoppin centre 1 is 4 offices..
wen we found de office, went in 4 de interview..
de guy tat interview us decide to find 4 us job as service crew
he wil help us to ask for job vacancy at cafe cartel or pasta..
diz mon we wil noe de results..
de pay wil b 4.5 per hr n above..cnt wait larh sey...

aft de interview, we met idad n went to bugis street..
as we walk2 n look at stuffs, i notice gerls walk by like to look at idad..
terpikat agknye..haha..
idad dress up was cool larh ytd..hensem sumore..
den he treat us for lunch but i didnt eat..
was havin diarrhoea in de mornin so no appetite..
den we walked to orchard frm dere..haha long distance..
wen we reached far east, dere was sumthin happenin dere..
ma fav local band KINGKONGJANE practisin to perform tat nite..
itz was a event for de 1st fri of de mth..
dey were so gud..i mish de vocalist la sey..awww...
idad like their music too..it was fun wif idad ard

den i saw ma x but i didnt approach hym..
he approach mie..tok to mie awhile..n b4 he went off,
he ask mi ma new num den he kish ma cheek..
he pinch ma cheek sumore..haha so cute la he..
hope i get de job..it wil b gud if i werk at de same place as sha

2007-11-01T17:25:00.000-07:00

ma bdae sucks at de start but ok at de end of de dae..
it sucks coz idad 4got ma bdae wen i remind hym twice diz mth..
i was moody so i didnt response to his calls or msgs..
but i tok tings out wif hym alr ytd..he got 2 surprise 4 mie
1 is he wil b werkin at bshan j8 golden village..hes transferred frm his old werkplace..
i was surprised sey..gud tat hes nearby mie alr nw but if i c his face,
i wil get sad..coz i nid 2 forget tat i love hym, wich is fuckin hard..
basically emoing la..
de 2nd surprise was a bdae present..he brought sumthin
but he dun wana tel mie..haiyo..

de 2nd part was a close fren of mine..dun wana sae her name..
wanted 2 celebrate ma bdae wif mie at town..but wen we mit,
she brought along a few frenz n dey went in n out shops
to ask 4 job vacandy..i was like"HELLO..diz is how u celebrate ur fren bdae??even if ma bdae was nt impt to u at al but dun ask mi 2 tag along wif wat u were doin uh..juz piss off!"

but luckily a fren of mine Dize, came to join us..but i juz couldnt stand ma tat fren behaviour tat dae, so we seperated frm dem..Dize, sha n mie went 2 eat at lucky plaza, Dize treat but i dun haf ani appetite to eat..aft tat we walked ard orchard n went to lido to watch movie..HALLOWEEN was our choice..Dize bought de tickets without even realisin tat de show was M18 haha..we got no choice but juz 2 gif a try or else ticket burn sia..wen we wana walk in de theatre, de ticketman reali tout mi n sha was 18..haha lucki2..de show was alrite juz dun like de storyline..Dize sent mi home n we kissed before i go to ma flat..i kissed hym to thk hym..appreciate so much sey..but he wana kiss more, coz he like de wae i kiss..he said it was so sexy tat TURN HIM ON..wah! haha..cheeky..

aft ma bdae tingy, i went 2 find a job 4 de past 3daes..now i noe itz hard to find a job without a certificate but i haf another issue..it is ma HAIR!..i noe sum shops doesnt allow bright coloured hair..but im nt gona dye back coz ma mom told mi so..she love ma hair n it wil b wasted if i dye back..hehe..hope 2 get a job soon..i cn werk full time coz i wana werk long hrs..werk hard more money in..haha

2007-10-19T10:15:00.000-07:00

im back agen..im aimin to fast for de nxt 3 mths..i hope i cn do it..
it reali burns ma fats sia..oh ya bout ma orange hair..
i cnt wear slacky clothes coz it doesnt ma hair..
den i muz b veri particular wif ma dress up..or else i wil look funny wif ma hair
haha troublesome..

well ppl in love al r in bad conditions sey..ma bestie n ma x lover idad..im de onli 1 nt in love..haha
i reali duno y since de holidaes started, i dun care bout havin a bgr..
but loads of guys waitin 4 mie..but i told dem nt put high hopes on mie..coz im nt ready..hehe

10 more daes to ma bdae..plannin to treat ma frenz n mayb ma famili to soul garden..eat a feast..hehe
den ma mom sponsor lor..haha..

was stupid in love

2007-09-18T07:03:00.000-07:00

went to mit fadzlee [de new fren]..
went to esplanade n watch rogue asassin at cathay
i njoy de conversation n movie wif hym
on diz ferst mit, we onli hug each other in de cinema..
tats a gud sign..hmm take tings slowli

but on de wae home aft da movie..
he had stomach pain..i hope hes ok now..
but i heard hes havin fever..c de doc alrite

wen i reached home, idad msg mie
he told mie he dated a new gerl..movin on n stuffs..
he said hes leavin tat gerl he love before she leaves hym
becoz he doesnt haf ani1..den wat bout mie? wher i stand?
y he saes he love mie but im like nth to hym..
if he saes hes confuse den y he kip sayin he loves mie..
tats is y i was hurt..i dun mind hym datin other gerls..
but he shld b true of wat he said..

u c..i noe diz wil happen sooner or lata..
n 2dae it happens..u noe how it felts like
lovin sum1 u tout he love u back..
itz like losin ur mind..how stupid am i!
so fuckin stupid to trap maself agen n agen..
believin in guys tat i love agen n agen..
open ma heart easili agen n agen..
y i repeat de same mistakes? i wil nv 4gif maself for al da shit i did in ma life

now im nt plannin to move or watsoeva
i wil juz do wat i haf to do..lettin go of ma love for u
i said b4 u were everitin to mie
but i was nth to you..
u were ma life
but now i haf 2 let go of u
itz like lettin go of ma life!!!

2007-09-15T07:35:00.000-07:00

hey hey i feel much better now..
well, i mean i noe how 2 kip mi bz
so i wont tink of hym much
n hopefulli i cn 4get hym..

well diz started ytd wen i chat wif a new fren
we chat onli bout our life obstacles..
n he seems to noe everi sgl ting i felt
n his advices were veri gud
so 2dae i decided to play badminton wif ma bro
i promised to play wif hym long time ago
but i fulfil ma promise todae..haha

den went home n do al de housewerk
n ma reward was i get to go out tml!!!
go to geylang nite bazaar..wif sha n her boyfie
im so excited..mommy reali dun mind u c..
wah..! i felt so hyper n happie..

erm mayb he wil join us aft his werk at ard 10..
but if hes tired, i dun wan2 bother hym..
but in any case, i stil get to go out..weee...!
n b4 i end ma post..i wanna sae sumtin to hym
~~i noe u reali wan mie to move on, get a new guy n b happie rite..
well..tat is nt wat i wan..in ma life, i wan diz 2 tings..
1 is gain back ma mommy trust..2nd is a long lastin rlationship..
yup i did put high hopes on u b4 diz, but nt animore..
coz i noe waitin for u is nt de ans..wat i haf 2 do is
to b patient wif everitin n hopefulli we cn b close frens onli..
yup u noe itz hard for mi to forget u..but i wil alrite..
4 our own gud..=)

new story line

2007-09-12T08:55:00.000-07:00

didnt update 4 so long..hope u guyz stil rmb ma blog
haha..aft de breakup, i onli tink of ma n levels..
i tout i cn 4get bout rlationship n stae sgl..
but i was wrg actuali..i knew diz guy IDAD a few wks ago..
aft knowin hym much beta..i fall for hym..
haish..but he love another garl..
n tat garl haf a guy alr..itz like love in a triangle..

sumtime laz wk..he told mie he love mie
but hes confused..im happie tat he love mie
but i reali dun wan 2 bother hym n her..
i dun wan 2 come into their love..diz iz wat i hate de most..
i hate wen ppl come into ma love n now i go in between dem..
i felt guilty n i wan 2 forget hym..
but itz so fucking hard u noe..

weneva he dun msg or cal mie,
i waited but i cnt cntrl ma patience
so i msg hym..diz happenz everidae
how cn i forget hym wen i tink bout hym everi min..
laz sat i met salihin{new fren}, sha n seri..
we went town shoppin..den ard 4 or 5..
idad mit uz as city hall..tat was de ferst tyme i mit hym
it was a short mit larh..but at least i get to c hym..

many guys was rejected by mie becoz i cannot love dem..
ma heart is close by idad..i tried so hard to look at other guys
but i cnt..i noe i shld 4get hym n move on..but how? damn!
i love hym xo much..n to 4get hym is lyke killin maself..
haish..plz god..tel mie wat to do..
let hym make his decision soon so it wil b final for mie..
but im sure his decision wil b askin mie 2 let hym go..
am i rite?..
how to let u go wen u r ma everitin..ma life...

2007-08-06T06:13:00.000-07:00

sum love note i found..

IF UR HEART"S NOT IN IT FOR REAL
if ur heart's not in it for real
plz dun try to fake wat u dun feel..
if love's already gone
not fair to lead me on...
cause i would gif u ma whole world for u
and anitin u ask of mie, i'd do..
but i wont ask u to stae, i'd rather walk awae
if ur heart's not in it for real..

hmm deres a prob occur in ma rlationship
his x badmouth bout hym to mie
well i dun care
i n hym haf to change our blog link
troublesome larh..
but no matter how much u try to break mi apart frm hym
u wil nv succeed..once mine wil alwaes b mine
n nth cn destroy it..i love you FARIS!!

eng paper was nt bad..ss paper was fine..
tml mt paper..haiz sian..

2007-07-25T04:53:00.000-07:00

i made a mistake to sum1 (fren Mimi)

he caught mie doin sumthin wrg..totalli wrg

n i stil lied to hym n gif excuses..but den he dun believe al ma crap

he was veri angry n disappointed..

i was so shocked..so stuck..y did i lie sia? i shld haf juz admit..

im damn stupid..fuckin bodo..

i nv backstab sum1 close to mie b4..nv lie to sum1 hu truz mi so much

becoz mi maself hate liars..

but i duno wat caught ma mind..til i did tat..

luckili he gave mi a chance to xplain maself..

but he said tings so sarcasticli aft i xplain to hym..

i was so silence..so shut!..he reali noe wat im tinkin..

but aft awhile, he told mie to juz 4get it..

i asked hym whether he 4gif mi or nt..he said he wil but nt now..it takes tyme

haish..im becomin more lyke a loser..damn fed up sia..

2007-07-22T03:20:00.000-07:00

hmm im emotional wen i write diz post..

itz bout ma mom..

she juz nv stop her nonsense..

she alwaes cntrl mie usin her temper n mood..

i dun mind if she cntrl mie usin de rite wae

but now most of de time, she use her temper..

no matter how harsh her werds are

i noe she love mie..so i juz kept quiet..

but wen i reach ma limits, i maintain ma anger

but i stil wil put a moody face..

wen she saw ma moody face,

she wil nag n nag more..

haish wen wil ma freedom return to mie agen

wen wil i b sure tat i haf plans for ma future

wen wil i b sure tat ma love is a true one

wen wen wen??

tel mi wen plz...

2007-07-20T06:07:00.000-07:00

diz were de pics we took on racial harmony dae
hehe njoy..

todae went 2 watch harry potter wif sha n ma lil bro
de show was nt quite gud..it was too emotional..i was expectin more excitement
sha cried on 1 part of show..hehe..she was touched la..but i didnt feel de touch at al
haha..syg nt gona online todae
he got public concert at town til mornin..mish hym larh sey
take cr of urself k..dun noti2..come home soon k..loveyou

2007-07-16T03:42:00.000-07:00

LIVE WITH NO EXCUSES AND HAVE NO REGRETS

haish stil upset now
luck is reali nt by ma side
ytd went to town wif sha n fazly
we accompany sha to take her repaired hp
aft tat we walked at orchard..

our laz stop is swensens de 1 near heren
wen i n sha wana order ice creams..
i realised ma purse is nt wif mie
in ma purse is $40 n ma ezlink card
how cn i lost it wen it is in ma pocket de whole dae
i nv take it out to use or anitin
de laz tyme i use is to tap ma ezlink at orchard mrt

i was fuckin panic but lucki sha n ma faris
cool mie down..
sha n i went 2 seardh at heren
coz tats de laz shoppin centre we went to
but found nth..so i went 2 de customer counter
n report ma lost purse

ma mom cal aft tat..
i xplain to her..tout she gona b mad at mie
but den she understand mie..
haish de other bad ting is,
i was havin bad headache since i went to orchard ytd
until todae..

wich make mie skip sch..
july is a bad mth for mie..
mayb watchin harry potter tml
hopefully ma faris cn come along..
finalli itz 17 tml!!!! yay!

2007-07-14T07:11:00.000-07:00

haish on 13th july..bad luck fri..
i hurt ma two close frenz
1 is zalikha n de other is vann
zalikha was sumthin bout her frenster
we argue across de corridor
den we dun tok to each other

i hurt vann feelings wen we r tokin bout adeline lost hp
n suddenly i sae sumthin tat i guez hurt her feelings
wich she cried while she eats
i felt so bad n i didnt look at her wen she crys
im a fuckin fren larh
juz useless..al i noe is hurt ppl rite?
i cn hurt 2 frens of mie in 1 dae
i hope dey forgive mie
im reali sowie gerls
i dun mean to hurt you

i duno wats wrg wif mie
diz is de ferst tyme i make ma close fren cry
i feel so..argh! fuck larh..i hate maself

2007-07-08T04:24:00.000-07:00

be yourself dae was fun
al most everi was enthu in takin pics
im happy to b in 4n3..nv tout deres diz bunch of classmates
tat i cn depend on
dey cn b irritatin sumtimes but we r united
no 1 is perfect..i love 4n3!

hmm almost 1 mth im single
i start to feel loneli but i juz scare to start a new 1
i haf sum1 in ma mind now
but im afraid to b in love agen
afraid of makin mistakes n wrg decisions
afraid to face ani consequences..

but if tat sum1 prove to mie tat i cn depend on hym
truz hym..n he cn understand ma motherfuckin life
im sure i cn accpt hym..
aft ma 18x boyfie..
i realised i shldnt gif ma truz to ani 1 easily
n dun b so sure tat he is de rite guy

i hope i cn b more alert n careful
al diz while, i was de one hu take cr of ma guy
now its tyme to let guy take cr of mie
to b continue...
hahaha

2007-07-06T08:48:00.000-07:00

BE YOURSELF DAY!!!

BABES OF 4N3

BABES OF 4N3 PART

JASON PUN

JIS AND NICK

GOOD LOOKIN HUNKS OF 4N3

BOTH OF DEM SO CUTE! UNTIL SERI N IVAN CANNOT RESIST LOOKIN AT DEM

JIS N VANN CUTE COUPLE! LOL!

POSIN SEY MRS TAY!

PEACE!

LOOK LIKE 3 COUPLES! HEHE

MISS CHUBBY CHEEKS XTRA!

GREAT DUDES!

JASON WIF HIS PUNK STUFF!

MA HENSEM HUNK!

MALAY CLASS

ONE FAMILY..PAPA HENSEM MAMA PRETTI VANN GORGEOUS

BESTIES OF THE DAE

DEY ARE DANGEROUS!

AT LEAST DERES 1 PIC WIF IZWAN

ROCK ON!

JASON PUN SO CUTE!!!

BEST COUPLE?? HMM...

single life n goin ITE mayb??

2007-06-27T10:50:00.000-07:00

since im sgl now, guys start 2 come agen
wen wil dey get lost??
al i do to dem is reject dem
n for sum lucki ones, i went out wif dem
but reject dem stil

b yourself dae is near..hmm
i gona b maself for de laz yr in beatty
i dun tink i cn make to sec 5
i tink i gona wear sumthin simple but classy

for racial harmony dae..
i gona wear ma laz yr baju kurong
black colour..haha

if i leave diz sch diz yr
i wil miss ma frenz but i'll b happie
if dey cn make it 2 sec 5
n i wil juz leave ma secondary sch life
n change ma daily routine for ITE
to ma peeps, i noe u wan mi to b wif u guys til end of sec 5
but i noe ma strength n capability..
i dun tink i cn make it..but i wil try ma veri bez
but if i disappoint u, im sorri but appreciate al ur support

wat greats frenz i haf in beatty
eventhough de sch sux alot
but de students rox
dun b like mi k guys
try to make de best for ur future
b4 itz too late n end up lyke mie
i haf 2 find a new path aft sec sch life

ferst date with ARIF

2007-06-22T04:08:00.000-07:00

at 1pm met Arif at bshan mrt
he was so chubby..i like his teddy bear like body
hehe hes cute too
went to the cathay to watch fantastic 4
watch for de 2nd tyme
hehe i dun mind watchin agen becoz arif haven watch it
we had our ferst kiss in de threate hehe

aft de show, i promised 2 mit seri n sha at town at 3.30pm
wen de movie ends, i went 2 de toilet
den i msg sha tat de movie alr end
suddenly both of dem went in de toilet
n gave mi a surprised..noti frenz i haf
haha aft tat we walked to town n proceed to cathay cineleisure
ate burger king dere..arif's lil bro n his gf came to join us for a while
arif's lil bro wan 2 follow us but arif disallow..dey argue for awhile
n arif's lil bro gave up n walked awae..poor ting...hmm

we decide 2 seperate..seri n sha went 2 taka i tink
den mi n arif went to de park at somerset..
arif found a marlboro light cigarette bow
inside de box deres 14 sticks
he juz took it..haha lucki hym..
we spend tyme alone 2gether til 6..
at 6 we went 2 mit sha n seri agen at taka garden
we tooks pics 2gether..haha it was quite funny

aft tat we took de mrt to marina bay
n bounce back to bshan haha
juz for fun..arif slept on ma shoulders in de mrt
hehe nice 2 c hym sleepin..dunno y
juz like seein hym sleep
lazli arif sent mi home..
had fun wif hym

fad wan mi back but itz too little too late
haha im wif a great guy i love now
fuck de past kiss de future
haha lame!

feelin beta

2007-06-14T10:41:00.000-07:00

went to watch fantastic four todae
wif sha, ma god bro n ma lil bro
ma god bro came late coz hes frm sch
so we waited 4 hym in frm of de cinema..
while waitin, we walked ard j8..
suddenly in from of mi was ma x,
de x tat i love hym so much
eventhough we stead for awhile
but de moments we had wif each other
were unforgettable..

we stopped walkin n he asked mi
wher am i goin..am i watchin movie..
i asked hym back too
he said hes watchin de same movie n same tyme
i was surprised..i was happie..
hehe den we walked seperate distance

i was so surprised..i was too excited..
n i didnt notice he was behind mie wen i sae
"eeee...unexpected"
haha den sha saw hym lookin at mie
den she told mie tat he was behind uz..
haha i turned behind n i saw hym smilin..
walao! paisey sia..

den itz tyme 2 go in de theatre
saw hym agen at de fast food corner..
he asked mie wana go in 2gether
but i sae u go ahead ferst
becoz of ma silly god bro la..
alwaes late n we miss 10mins of de show
wen we went in n found our seats,
syawal msg mie n asked mi hu is de guy beside mie
it was ma god bro
i told hym it was ma god bro, he replied woah, sit so near..
haha jelez sey..i asked hym wen he seat
he was 3 rows behind uz..haha i turn behind n i saw hym

aft de show, i send ma god bro at de bus stop..
while ma lil bro played at arcade..
aft sendin hym off, mi n sha went back 2 de arcade
den syawal was dere..haiyo..im so hapie
c hym so mani tymes todae..
den ma lil bro took so long playin
until syawal went off ferst..but wen he walked pass mie
he pinch ma cheek n sae bubbye..
wuhu!!!! so touched so high so happie!

i wil nv 4get todae becoz todae is de ferst dae
i went out wif de 3 most impt peeps in ma life
n saw ma beloved x
had fun takin pics wif sha..
lazli i forgotton bout fad..no more shit bout hym
now is juz mie..bout relationship n true love
relationship cn wait
i wont find ma true love
let ma true lover find mie..

050307 TILL 110607

2007-06-11T08:17:00.000-07:00

we break up..i dunno how 2 xplain de reason

but diz is de conversation i had wif hym..tat coz de break up

rika: do u feel tat our relationship is a bit diff now? like sumthin is nt de same?
fad: haha no comment..
rika: y u laugh? im seriuz ok..i feel like diz 4 de past few daes..
fad: no comment..
rika: cn u stop sayin no comment? sae sumthin else plz
fad: i dunno im juz bein cool
rika: ok den nvm..haf u seen de anniversary comment i gave u at ur frenster? u didnt log in 4 sumtime alr rite?
fad: haven ar..didnt log in coz ma com alwaes hang n laggin..
rika: ok den..hope u c it coz i used so much tyme doin it
fad: mayb 2molo la..
rika: itz ok..no nid to c yet la..nt impt at al
fad: anitin la
rika: wats wrg wif u? u seems diff
fad: diff?? no la..im bein cool..cool is wat i am
rika: u cal tat cool?..tats ego to mie
fad: ego? wat makes u tink so?
rika: de wae u talk to mie..isnt tat ego?..wen im seriuz, ure jokin..
fad: y b so seriuz?..in life we muz haf fun..even everi pain we muz haf fun too..
rika: u stil wana haf fun wen u nid 2 pay attention 2 ur life more now??
fad: ya..life nid 2 njoy..
rika: den wat bout mie? do u nid mie in ur life?..or u nid mi juz 2 njoy urself?..al ma help 4 u iz wasted..
fad: i dunno la..mayb u dunno de dark side of mie yet..im changin to a demon now
rika: since u noe ure changin into a demon?..dont u wana change?..al diz while, didnt i help u to change..
fad: i tink im gud enuf..i nid nt change animore..
rika: fine..u dun wana change, tats ur prob tats ur life..but do u nid mie or do u nid juz love?
fad: i nid not love..i nid life..i chose life..

i was so upset..fuckin disappointed..
i didnt reply hym aft he said tat..wat more cn i sae?
am i ur dog or wat? or am i ur entertainment?
al diz while, u juz tink of enjoyin..
den wat for u stead wif mie?!! wat for?!
oh god! gif mie strength 2 overcome diz!
to ma peeps..he let uz down..we tout he was ma true lover
but he was juz a freak! idiot freak!

let it out

2007-06-08T09:14:00.000-07:00

haish..i cannot accompany hym to de doc appointment todae..
but hiz bestie went wif hym
i was waitin for hym 2 msg mie de whole dae..
i wana noe wat de doc says..but nth frm hym
til 10pm..i cannot stand it so i msg hym
den he told mi he went out wif his bestie, bestie's gf, his 1st x n her bf..
went 2 watch movie..
i was like..damn! u r stil sick n u stil wana njoy..
wats de use goin 2 de doc appointment?..

he told mie hes goin 2 torn at changi..fishin..wif his bestie diz sun..
woah! so enjoyable uhh..i dunno y im feelin down..
mayb becoz wat im tinkin is..
i took care of u..werried bout u..wan u 2 get wel asap!
n u stil wana go njoy..de reason u gave mie is
"im gettin well so itz nt a big matter im hangin out wat.."
ya nt a big matter??..den nxt tyme take care of urself..
i care 4 u so much but u dun even take xtra care of urself..
useless..ma help was useless..

wen i didnt haf ani mood 2 tok 2 hym..
he sae "rilek la..im juz chillin"
rilek rilek...rilek ur head la..! u noe i hate tat werd
ya im sensitive..so?..im bein mie..
take it or leave it..
p.s: hope u guys like ma new song on ma blog

2007-06-05T08:41:00.000-07:00

to de bloody screamo n anonymous..dun tink i dunno u la..
nk hang aku tk de care pe..kecot ke pe sial..nk hang dpn muke aku ar..
nk hang thru frenster n blog aku..pk aku heran pe..
babi sundal nye org..klao tk puas ati ngn aku, jumpe aku ar..
bodo siak aku g mataer ngn jantan haram mcm kau..
mmg naseb ar pompan sial kau dpt kau jd mataer dier..

aku ade berak kepale kau pe..sampai kau nk hang aku care taik mcm nie
sial la..tgk muke kau ulu la..kecot..bbual pakai suardlm pe sak..
ehk pompan, nk maki aku konon..beh mintk maaf..
sial la..jantan kecot betine pn kecot pe..
sajak ar krg due..hrp krg laz long long mcm konek jantan kau ar..

nk hang aku, suro pompan start ulu..ape nye care la..
klakar sak..
ehk sial! klao kau nk hang aku, aku tk psl..tapi tkmo kecot la sak..
buang mase aku jek lyn org mcm taik nie..taik agy baek pade muke krg la sak..

aku kai nick baby, beh pompan kau nk sebok kai baby pe..aku panggil mataer aku dady pn kau nk sebok kai dady pe..ehk..get ur own style la..aku nye frenster modification pn krg nk copy pe..haha aku role model krg ehk..alalalala maceh byk2..tk sangke ade org mnat aku..haha prangai bdk2 kecik..da nk masok ns pn ade otak nk pk ar sial..umor da bape sak..mat skudai mina taik..haha

for ma peeps..dey r juz plain jelez bout mi n fad..
fuck dem la..no matter how dey try 2 show off tat dey dare 2 attack mie..
de more dey look like idiots..idiots oso haf brains la..nt like dem
stupid shit couple..hope dey laz long becoz both of dem reali compatible..
haha..compatible becoz of their shit faces..haha..
i delete de tagboard..n i gona put a new one..
do feel free 2 tag orite..especiali both of tat assholes..
one word 4 dem "stupid"..

fad juz discharge frm hospital!!!!

2007-06-04T07:55:00.000-07:00

damn! diz mornin receive a unknown cal..sleepy2 oso i ans de cal
it was FAD!! hes at alexandra hospital since sat..
he cn b discharge 2dae..but he cannot reach his parents..
cal his house fon ngage den cal his parents hp..dey didnt ans..
his onli hope was mie..
he haf no money wif him n clothes..
his mom took his clothes home n his wallet..

i was so shocked but luckili hes feelin much beta..
i quickly rush n xplain to ma mom
tel her de truth tat if i dun help hym, he cannot go home..
ma mom understands but she nid mi 2 brin sha along..
so i asked sha..n she agree 2 help mie..
thkz alot babe..

i quickly search for clothes tat cn fit hym..
ma mom asked mi whether i haf money for de taxi fares..
i sae no..wats on ma mind is 2 mit hym..
ma mom gave mie $50 for de taxi fares..
i was so happie tat she helped mie..
she asked mie 2 promise her tat aft everitin is settled,
i haf 2 go home straight..so i did..

wen we arrived at alexandra hospital, we searched 4 his ward..
otw to his bed, de smell of de hospital medicine or de patients urine or wateva la..
make mi headache sia..cannot stand de smell..most of de patients in his ward, were veri old..
hes de onli young one..haha..i was so happie 2 c hym..but i pity hym..
his throat was infected real bad..i gave his clothes 2 change..
luckily de clothes was not too loose 4 hym..

wen he asked de nurse bout dischargin, de nurse sae he nid 2 check his temperature
at 3 oclock! damn..another 3 hrs sittin dere doin nth..
but itz ok..we juz talk n wait..sha was veri bored..but she dun mind..
deres mani kind of ppl dere..dun wanna talk bout tat..hahha
at 3pm, no sign of de stupid doc..until bout 3.30pm, den de doc came n check fad..
den fad haf 2 change his anti-biotics..wait 4 de nurse til 3.45pm..
den muz wait 4 de mc..he got mc 4 2wks..

i asked sha 2 accompany mie 2 teckwhye den we go home 2gether
but she refused..she wana take de shuttle bus to de mrt, den take de mrt back home
i persuade her but she stubborn..so fad n i took de taxi 2 teckwhye..
went 2 his house..fad banged de door until his mom was shocked..
he scolded his mom 4 everitin..4 not fetchin hym n ans de damn fon..
his house was in a mess..totali messy..
but i dun mind la..his mom dun reali tok 2 mie..
den his dad came home aft werk..he stared at mie as if he dun like mie..

lazli fad get mie a taxi..so i reach home ard 7pm..hmm..
im werried bout hym..but i noe hes de kind of guy "automatic"
he wil eat his medicine regularli n get as much rez as he cn..
ILOVEU

2007-06-02T09:21:00.000-07:00

3wks..3 long wks..
i didnt mit hym at al..
i miss hym so much..werried bout hym
hes sick since de beginnin of diz wk..
havin high fever..sore throat..
im scared if diz symtoms wil result hym havin dengi fever..
coz he went to tekong b4 diz..

plz god..dun let anitin worser happen to hym..
i cnt bear to c hym sufferin..i love hym n i dun wan hym to leave mie..
gif hym de strength..plz i beg u..
let mi suffer instead..i deserve tat more dan hym..

on de dae he book in back to camp on vesak dae..he told mi he wil b bookin out at 8am on sun
due to he late book in laz wk..he usuali book out on everi sat afternoon..hmm
den i found out juz now frm his campmate tat..
he alr book out ytd coz he was veri sick..
i was fuckin shocked..i wan 2 noe hows he was feelin..if his condition is veri bad,
i nid to go n visit hym at his house..die2 oso i go dere..even if ma mom disallow or wana gif mi a tighter curfew..
mayb if he c mie, he might feel beta..i noe how 2 gif hym de strength..
juz simple..show ma love n care for hym..tats wat he nids de most..

p.s: 3mth anniversary comin soon.. xD

2007-05-30T03:41:00.000-07:00

heyo..finalli i haf time to update
hmm ma mid yr..ma god..itz suckz wich i expected..
i wan ma results 2 b worse like diz becoz i noe mid yr got nth 2 do wif n level..
so ma results was 2 passed 4 failed..haha

bout fadli..aft de 2 wks he went 2 tekong
i was veri selfish to him..i went out n haf fun wif other guys..
i didnt tel him..i was havin fun wen he was sufferin so much
i cant bear 2 leave him..he nids mie n i noe tat..
im a person hu haf lack in confidence n i dun do wat i sae i wan to
i mean im juz selfish 2 ppl hu love mie..i onli tink for maself
walked de wrg path everitime..even wen i noe de bad conquences..
i stil do it juz for de sack of doin it..

u might tink im matured for ma age n seriuz minded..
but honestli im not..i might nt b childish but im a slow tinker..
low self esteem..haish..i dun kip promises..
life would b much beta if i am more smart
life wouldnt b diz bad if i juz..haish..

dun help mi animore k..de more u help de more i wil b selfish
i juz wan a proper daily routine..enuf freedom..truz frm ma mom agen
but i noe itz impossible for a person like mie..
sumtimes i tink itz a wrg choice for fadli 2 fal in love wif mie
im nt suppose 2 love sum1 or to b loved by sum1..
becoz i dunno de meanin of love..

a note tat he wrote 4 mie (fadli)

2007-05-25T04:21:00.000-07:00

I'm Attached!!!...wann 2 marry-
I hv some1 i love moz...she's all i cn hope 4...4 her n 4 me...i really truely love her...
her heart n my love 4 her cant compare against all of my 3 x-girlfriends....
i hv a gud heart 4 her...n she has a gud heart 4 me...
she iz everything 2 me 2 my live n 2 my future!! i love moi damn gurl more than anytin man!!!
i cn finally fly loike a bird...stick 2 de sky loike de stars dat shine bright like a lovely sweet blinking blowkiss!...
everytime i look in the night sky...the blackness of a sky turns 2 her image n de stars r her million kisses n the dark clouds r her temtations 2wards me....
my heart filled wif glories of her love n de darkness within me rapidly fade away...as she iz my true lover...i hv nothing 2 fear n fite my temtations 2 her rights...
but what i need now iz juz ur understanding...n if i ever hurt ur feelings during our relations..
.i do wish upon de stars dat u would 4giv me n 4get all my wrong doings 4 i will punish myself n change my standards 4 some1 like eu, i could do anything sweet...
i cherish eu all de way n till de end of tyme...i wish our love could reach even beyond the star n de sky!...
wif eu giving me confidence i hv no fear animore...but u muz stay strong 2...
u noe i love girls hu r strong, independent n trueful 2 love...
i wan eu 2 shine loike dat star! i choose eu 2 b de black dark night sky 2 guide my shining stars...i m the blue stars that send arrays 2 de deep blue oceans...
u love anithing that i love n i love anithing that eu love we share all our pain problems n hatred...we r 4 1 eternity in love..that no1 cn stop us...NO1!!!!....
I love my bie sooooo much! i wish 2 c her everytime....miz her soo much 2...bie..i wanted eu sooo badly....wish eu were always by my side...be wif me....always love eu bie....MUACKZ!!...i'll b missing eu...very much...

P.S: hope i cn b faithful n patience to him..

all guys are de same!

2007-05-18T17:40:00.000-07:00

damn..hes juz a liar..
kira..i mean keith..cannot cal him kira animore
he patch back wif his x..without tellin mie
i tout he was single..n i tout of startin a rlationship wif him agen..
but no point now

once a liar is alwaes a liar..once a bastard is alwaes a bastard
at least u could tel mi u wan 2 patch wif ur x
so i wouldnt haf bother u..
ya i noe itz nice n fun 2 fool a gerl like mie..

i reali tout i could depend on u..
i wanted u to b ma guy.. n of coz nw im single..itz easier 4 us
but wen i msg u ytd, n ur gf reply..
i felt so betrayed..guys are al de same
dey might haf diff personality or diff character
but dey haf de same intention..
wich is HURT GERLS hu love them..

wats de use havin a boyfie..or a husband..
dey r juz a pain in ma ass..dependin on maself now
i dun ani help frm ani fuckin guy..
i hav ma gerlfrens tat i truz is enuf..n of coz ma mom..

to vanN, i dunno wat ur tat fren did to u til u feel so down ytd
u alwaes look down on urself as bein a bad fren
to mie, ure nt..ure smart, passionate n most impt i truz u..
itz hard to truz a fren even if u noe her 4 a few yrs or so
but sumtimes u nid 2 b smart enuf nt 2 fal 4 their trick
itz like playin a game of truz n frenship..
wich wil u choose? trust or frenship..
i choose trust..tats de most impt u nid 2 laz a long frenship..
i love u gerl..n i hate guys..babyrika=anti guys?? hmm

2007-05-17T04:14:00.000-07:00

i dun tink i wan a guy animoe..
had enuf of dem..
i talk beta dan i speak la..i noe
but tats juz wat on ma mind now

if ma heart cn stil open 4 a guy
tat wil b kira or starboi..
no other guy..coz i noe dem de most

if i choose 2 b a les 4 sumtime,
wil tat b gud?..
gerls dun hurt gerls..

2007-05-13T05:06:00.000-07:00

went out wif hym
watch spideyman
eat lunch everitin haish
he kept complainin tat his bestie dun tink we r compatible
his bestie tink im nt perfect enuf..ask fadli 2 break wif hym

y muz he care so much bout wat his fren saes?
argh! lazi 2 explain la..

nt in de mood..but now i change ma frenster
pretendin tat i break wif hym
so his bestie wil tink i break wif hym alr
so his bestie wil nt insult him agen
ppl wil tink i break wif hym alr
but itz juz an act
childish sia fadli
care bout wat his fren so much 4 wat

his fren iz a fuckin asshole
becoz of wat he sae, ma rlationship n fadli alwaes haf conflict
n fadli stil listen 2 his fren
fren more impt dan gerlfren wat
useless guys

tired of hym..so i decide 2 break wif hym..n walk off..mayb we r reali nt compatible
now i wil juz aim 2 b hotter dan hym..goin gym wif vann..love ma gerl more dan hym!

2007-05-08T01:57:00.000-07:00

hmm do u tink i shld? shld i..haish
he is veri stress wif his ns n strugglin 2 cope wif his ns life
den diz bitch get 2 noe wif him..
i got jelez n angry but i didnt offend him la
walao! diz bitch no common sense ar..retarded izit
he alr haf gf den stil wan 2 flirt wif him..bloody shit!

we argued bout tat..he saidink too much..
but i was juz werried..
he said i kip makin him more stress
i said "if i reali make u stress, den y ask mi b ur gf?!"
he argued back "i tink itz useless tat i choose u as ma gf, waste ma time"..
i was stuck..speechless..damn upset..
i didnt argue back but cry softly..
aft a while, he realised he hurt ma feelin..YA U HURT MIE BADLY!
he apologised 4 wat he said juz nw
i juz replied "ya u r forgiven..u said those tings, tat hurt ma feelin n now sae sori"
he kept sayin sori..i got fed up n juz gif in 2 him

mayb he's rite..i stressed him more..not a gud gf
useless gerlfren..useless rika..bein wif mi is juz a waste of tyme..
too emotional..too werried..nt understandin..
IF U TINK IM LIKE TAT, Y U STEAD WIF MIE AT DE FERST PLACE?!!
i feel like lettin him go eventhough i love him more dan ma life..
lettin him go might improve his life..
he might a beta gf tat understand al de shit in his life
im juz nt gud enuf..nt qualified 2 b his gf..

he tinks i cn 4get bout wat he sae so easili..n b in a gud mood agen
im nt like tat! im nt like tat!..i cannot 4get tings easili xpeciali wen its hurtin mie! im nt lyke u hu 4get everitin so fast n start anew..im nt de same..if 1 dae i decide 2 leave u, dun comin askin mi 4 patch..dun feel regret..becoz if u do tat, u wil make mi even worse..at de start of our love, u change mie 2 improve ma life n now u r de 1 hu is causin mie 2 change agen..change in a bad wae, like wat i was b4..

2007-05-05T01:43:00.000-07:00

2nd mth anniversary!..wuHu..finalli 2 mths sia..so happie..
he book out laz nite aft i came back frm town
went town wif sha n her guy fahmi
so fun sia..mi n sha wear nice2 but fool around wif fahmi
make fun of ppl n all..haha lame sia
as we walk, ppl tink i sgl
gt diz emo guy sae hi 2 mi..haha crazy im nt sgl ok

den saw hady mirza n his gerl( malaysia actress )
hady so tal la..dey look so moody n ego sia
saw sha x boyfren..haha tat idiot bastard
saw anugerah skin guy..so cute!
saw 2 guys tat noe mi but nv mit mi b4..
i get 2 noe wif dem a few mths ago but nv mit dem
1 of dem so cute la..feel like kissin him
lastli saw ma guy bestfren..die die!
i was walkin beside fahmi wen i saw ma guy fren
scare he get de wrg idea n tel ma guy

den we go wheelock place 2 repair ma hp
wen i reach home, tat cute guy cal mi sia
he wanna mit mi agen..he sae he kinda like mi n de wae i dress up
haha den ma guy put wher sia..? dustbin ar?..siao!

aft we hang up, ma guy cal
so shocked! tout he book out 2dae but he book out ytd
he told mi he failed his weapon handlin test
due to he was nt train coz he was on mc
i felt bad 4 him..he passed al his other tests
but fail diz weapon test..haiyo
de worst tink is he gona b posted 2 tekong
NXT 2 WEEKS..haiz..4 about 2 or 3 wks
he wil b trained dere

aft he told mi tat, ma tears start 2 fal
felt like life iz upside down..
speechless
how cn i cope diz?
ma examz comin den hes goin awae
reali depressed n emotional!
but i wil b fine la..
i hope so..haish!

2007-05-01T03:17:00.000-07:00

todae veri special dae!
mit ma syg aft 1wk nv c him..
mit him awhile onli but at least get 2 spend tyme wif him
haiyoyoyo luv him xo much la
tak bole tahan ar..hahax
we took some pics 2gether..

de other ting iz sha iz now ATTACHED!
aft so long single, she finali found sum1
tat sum1 haf de same character as mie sia
ma twin bro..haha ma guy version..

hmm i find ma mly paper iz more difficult dan ma eng paper
haiz haiz..quite stressed wif ma upcomin examz
i tink i wil fail ma history n maths lor
others mayb ok la..hope so

2007-04-25T04:25:00.000-07:00

syg booked in camp ytd..xo sad..cannot stop tinkin bout hym..
laz nite cry until 4am..slp awhile den woke up 4 sch
haiz..so hard 2 go thru al diz
he iz havin hiz BMT tingy now..
he onli cn book out nxt 2wks..on sat at 2pm..
or mayb worse..nxt 2mths..wen hiz BMT ends..
argh!! gettin crazy soOn..!

but at least i met hym twice aft sch durin hiz mc..
i love xo much alr..i mean ma love 4 him iz gettin stronger..
he recovered frm hiz chickenpox alr..so happie 4 him
n walao! hiz body gettin more macho alr..
onli aft 1 mth, he changed so much..

i oso wana join him..so i cn get more slim n sexier..
hahax..siao! if i join, nt even 5mins of trainin..i wil b dead!
hahax..bout 2nd mth anniversary..
low chance 2 mit him..coz he book out on sat at 2pm
im afraid i cannot go out..but hopefulli cn la..

hmm wat anniversary present shld i buy 4 him?
a watch or an nokia ngage fon?
i wan 2 buy him de fon coz he cannot brin camera fon 2 camp
so ngage fon haf no camera..he cn use it 2 cntct mie..! hehex
if i buy him de watch, he cn wear it n it wil remind him tat
i tink of him everi dae,hr,min n sec..haha emotional sia mi!

peeps! plz tel mi wat i shld buy 4 him? watch or fon? tankz!

2007-04-21T03:23:00.000-07:00

teddy bear torn apart..juz tired 2 tink bout it..no point..

got ma hp back..quite happie bout it..but juz got 1 conflict wif ma guy
veri complicated! i duno how 2 xplain..onli sha understand everi bit of it
de main ting iz..he suspect tat deres a guy wanna stead wif mie
becoz i put tat guy'z frenster at ma featured fren on ma profile
aft tat he ask mi whether ani guy try 2 sound mi stead or nt
i told him de truth tat tat guy haf feelings 4 mi n wan 2 stead wif mie
den he scare i wil break wif him 1 dae n stead wif tat guy
becoz he did tat 2 hiz x b4 n he dun wan hiz "destiny" 2 come back 2 him
he love mi so much..too much 4 mi 2 handle
i convinced him so mani times tat i wil nt break wif him becoz of ani other guys
but he got influenced by hiz frenz..he tel diz 2 hiz frenz n dey told him 2 break wif mie..hes so scared i wil ask 4 break
i got angry bout diz..i told him tat i wil nt ask him 4 break..y he muz listen 2 hiz frenz n nt mie..
he sae he truz mi believe mi..but y he kip tinkin tat i wan break wif him..

haish..i noe he love mie but y muz he tink like tat?
he did sae tat he pity mie becoz im stuck wif ma life so he decide 2 ask mi 4 stead..den he start lovin mie until now..
i was upset..i tout he ask mi 4 stead becoz he love mi nt pity mi
i hate SYMPATHY!..
i agree 2 stead wif u becoz i like u..den as we noe each other beta wif our relationship..i started 2 love u..

wat rubbish iz diz? wat nonsense iz he tinkin?..onli listen 2 hiz stupid n immature fren..argh!
now i noe hiz character beta aft tat conflict..i understand watz on hiz mind..

2007-04-15T06:40:00.000-07:00

am i tinkin too much? am i bein too emotional? or im bein too naive?
he kept askin mi wen wil ma curfew end..
but i told him mani times tat i dunno..hopefulli by nxt mth
y iz he so impatience..if u canot wait den find sum1 else la

haish
he sae wen wil i totalli changed so hiz frenz wil nt look down on him..
im tryin so hard 2 b up 2 hiz expectations..makin everi effort 2 change
im nt independence so i cant go out wif u weneva u wan
im nt pretty enuf 4 u 2 show off ur gf 2 ur frenz
n becoz of diz ur frenz sae we r nt compatible

SO Y DUN U FIND A BETA GERL DAN MI INSTEAD??
DEN UR FRENZ WIL NT INSULT U
Y U SAE U LOVE MI WEN U DUN MEAN IT
I DUN WAN U 2 STEAD WIF MI BECOZ U PITY MI
I FUCKIN HATE SYMPATHY

u dun noe how hard iz 4 mi 2 go thru al diz?
im strugglin 2 win ma mom trust back so it wil b easier 4 uz 2 move on
n i stil nid 2 bother ur nonsense..
wat u reali wan r:
a hot chick as ur gf
n she muz b free 2 mit u weneva u wan, n spend time wif u as long as u wan
n hu cn wait 4 u while u serve ur ns
n gif u de sense of love..
AM I RITE??

i juz nid u 2 understand mi tat im tryin ma bez
n stop rushin mie..itz makin it worse!
u dun even noe wat i xpect ma ideal bf 2 haf
n itz fuckin worse dan wat u wan 4 a gf..
but i dun cr al diz..i dun go 4 apperance or ani other shit..!
i juz nid a guy hu luv mi 4 hu i am

im gettin tired of al diz bullshit
weneva i try 2 brin maself 2 face al diz
sumthin wil come ma wae n i didnt xpect itz u
it might b a smal matter 4 u but itz nt 4 mie
u hurt mi real deep..if tat dae comes, dun come 2 mi feelin regretted
de dae wen i gif up on u!

2007-04-14T07:44:00.000-07:00

todae nth much happen 2dae..
so bored..fuckin bored
juz nw nid 2 go sch 4 enrichment course onli
den go home cal him but he wan 2 slp
so i wait until fal asleep lor
hahax

y tat stupid gondu starboi muz overnite at hiz fren house agen?
everi wk he muz slp dere?.. he dun haf home 2 slp ar?
u nv noe he might slp at a gerl house nt hiz fren house rite..
hahax..do wateva he wan la..big boi alr ar
guyz al de same..sianz..
haish

al teens r out havin fun on weekends wif their frenz or lover..
but mi stucked at home..jailed..waitin 4 de sky 2 drop i guez
cannot even use de com, hp taken awae n bz wif daily "werk"..
bloody shit..try goin thru diz like mi..
i tink u cannot even survive a hr..or at most a dae..
hahax.. SUCKZ

2007-04-13T05:08:00.000-07:00

wuHu..
finalli got 2 mit ma starboi todae aft sch
luckili he came home ytd nite..hahax
laz min plan go orchard wif ma frenz
den he wan 2 c mi so he wan 2 come along..

he's now so tanned n i tink he lost weight..
hehex..we went 2 isetan n he bought a new star tshirt n star wallet..
veri nice..
den go eat kfc at far east..tats wen de rain starts..haiyo
we wan 2 go 2 heeren so we had 2 walk quite far..
and walk in de RAIN..haiz..
cn c ma black bra..bloody shit
al of uz were veri wet..

we took neoprints at heeren 2gether
n ma starboi n i took de picture card tingy la..
most of de neoprint were juz stars..hahax..
had fun todae..felt great 2 c him..miz hym sia
muackz

but to sum1 dere, u shld noe hu u r..
im reali sowie i didnt cal u durin ur break tyme..
i asked u 2 c slp ytd nt becoz i wan 2 tok 2 ma bf or sumthin
i wan u 2 rez..n bout 2dae itz was a laz min plan
i apologise 4 nt tellin u earlier..
plz dun tink negatif or get angry bout mie
i reali nid 2 tok 2 u..muackz!

2007-04-11T07:33:00.000-07:00

todae bad luck dae..
he lied to mie..haish! 4 de ferst time..x(
ma mom hurt ma feelings realli bad...:'(

y muz ma life get worse?
so stress up!
im juz stuck!
tired of ma life!
frustrated wif ma bloody famili..!
didnt xpect him 2 lie 2 mie..

stupid rika!
juz a piece of shit!
idiot gerL!
argh!!!
gona b a veri quiet person frm nw
so ppl wil nt take advantage of mie
especialli ma luv ones..

i wanna b fuckin DEAD!
fed up ar!

P.S: to ma boboi, cn u tag ma tagboard wen u read ma blog? ma tagboard oso veri dead!

2007-04-07T03:45:00.000-07:00

ya im happie 2 haf a nice n swit guy lyke u
im ur 1 n onli teddy bear
miz ur hugs n kisses..

haiz
no 1 understand mi..nt even maself..
im emo nw..juz feelin down
no mood!
y? y? hu am i?
leave mi alone ferst
i nid time
i dunno! i dunnO!
argh!! fuck ar!!

2007-03-30T06:17:00.000-07:00

wuHu..sayang book out 2nite..cant wait 2 tok 2 hym..hes now on hiz wae home
n gud news..ma mom let mi go out tml!!! yessa! can spend tyme wif him wuHu..
tml goin 2 watch stomp de yard or other movies la..at the cathay..weEE..
ferst time watch movie wif him..cannot wait sia..
i goin out at 12 den mit him at bshan mrt..gonna gif him a big hug..hahax
den ard 3 aft de show..go mit ma frenz at bugiz..yiPPee..!
so hapi sia..! thkz mumi 4 lettin mi out..
gonna buy present 4 mumi..shld b at bugiz la..town got nth 2 buy 4 ma mom..

hmm but bad news iz de sistahood..mi, sha n za..nt clickin wif each other wel alr
juz nw got conflict wif za n her bf..den sha was quite involved in de arguement too
za kept askin mi 4 4giveness but i juz cannot 4give her la..
i helped, sacrificied, advised, accompanied her thru her rlationship wif tat black BUSTARD!
but she seems to take advantage of mie or dun appreciated wat i haf done 4 her al diz while
to mie, i take frenz imptli..even if i dun like sumthin bout dem but i stil help dem if dey nid help
n for sha n za, i take dem as ma sistas..nt juz besties..i luv dem more tat ma lil bro..
but wat i get?.. i dun wan anitin in return 4 de tings i helped u but cn u juz appreciate wat i've done 4 u since de laz 4 3 fuckin yrs..!
mayb im too generous huh?..too soft hearted rite? truz ppl easili rite?..

nw i wil change ma character 2wards both of u too..hands off ur rlationship matters..i wil onli help u guyz about studies frm now
ma mom told mi 2 help frenz in their studies onli but i didnt listen 2 her
n i regretted! i'll make sure both of u regret ma new attitude..
but 2wards both of dem onli la..ma other frenz n ma sayang..i wil nt do tat
teach dem a lesson..i hate 2 b taken 4 grated..

haiz dun tok bout diz la..spoil ma hapi mood wif ma sayang onli..hehex..peace out!!

2007-03-27T07:53:00.000-07:00

hmm..sayang pp8 low den i go n top up 4 him ytd
b4 goin 2 de stadium..1-3.15 go 4 eng LSP..3.15-4.15 go 4 mathz wif mr tham
i noe tat mum wil nt believe tat i went 4 extra lessons..
so i decided 2 ask ma teachers 2 write a note 4 mum..
den reached stadium bout 4.55 n was in time 2 watch de laz event
hahax..de b division 4x100..nice 1 siao..
aft sport heats 2 sha, seri n i go long john..onli seri eat..hehex
den de cashier gay..with red hair sumore..damn! i miz ma red hair..
nvm i wil wait til end of n level, ma hair wil make ppl envy of mie..hahaz
den aft seri eat, we walked round tpayoh central 2 find de singtel $10 top up..
walao..de card limited stock onli low..nt mani shop haf..
den i dun haf enuf money 2 buy de $20 1..hehex
we walked n asked al de hp shops hahax

finalli we found 1 tat has de card la..but he sel at $12 nt $10..
i was like..wateva la..i paid him den he gif mi de card n we walked out pathetically
hahax..he gave 2 cards sia! lucki mie stupid him..wakakaka
but i top up 4 sayang $1o onli lor..de other 1 kip ferst..in case la..hehex

todae..mum n dad come home b4 i head 4 sch..so i dun nid 2 send ma lil bro..
wen i was preparin 2 go out of ma house..mum asked 4 ma teachers notes bout ytd xtra lessons
i gave her den she cannot read..hahax..she ask mi 2 read 4 her den she ask stupid ques..
i felt irritated so i looked quite moody..
wen i was lookin de door, mum sae cn u dun show ur stupid moody face at mie
walao! cn u gif mi sum peace?! itz in de mornin n u alr nag at mie..haiz
wats wrg wif her sia?..

haiz but 4get it la..if she wan 2 b like tat, den up 2 her..i wil tolerate wif her nonsense until de dae i nid 2 voice out everitin.. de dae tat i proved tat i changed..
but now de 1 ferst ting tat i cn prove 2 her iz by improvin in ma mid yr
ma CA1 like shit..2 out of 6 subs passed..i wil die wif de results 4 ma n level
i dun aim 4 high marks but at least i wan ma results improved..
im workin hard 2wards it now..n starboi watchin mi frm de sky..haha lame
sayang sae he wan 2 treat mie 2 a movie diz sat n top up ma pp8 as wel
i dun feel like askin him 2 top up 4 mie coz i was alwaes de 1 toppin up 4 dem
but nvm la..up 2 him..but he dun wan 2 watch movie at town..haiz
den i tink of askin him 2 go vivo or bugis watch..but town alwaes de bez la!